Three vampires walk into a bar.
"I'll have a blood, thanks." says the first vampire to the bartender. He pours the vampire a glass of blood.
"I'll have a blood too, please." says the second vampire to the bartender. He pours the second vampire a glass of blood.
The third one pauses for a second, and then says; "I'll have a cup of hot water, thanks."
The other two turn and stare, disgusted. "Why the fuck aren’t you getting a blood?" they ask.
"Because," says the third one, pulling out a tampon, "I'm making tea."







Also, what do clouds wear under their clothes?
highlight for answer: Thunderwear.

The first joke was great -ui-
The second was not so great....

But it's a great pun XD

How do you put 50 ethiopians into a VW Beetle?

A: throw a slice of bread there :lol:


What about 100 ethiopians into a VW Beetle?

A: use the butter :D

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?

Neither have they.

WAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

So, there was Santa Claus and his reindeers were travelling around the world in the sleigh giving gifts to every children in the world. He passed on America and threw gifts, ... then over Europe and threw gifts... on Australia and Asia and threw more gifts.. so when he arrived on Africa, he was up there in the sky over Ethiopia, but he didnt threw gifts.. so one of the reindeer asked him: "aww :( why didn't you give gifts for Ethiopian children?" .. and he replied: "Children who doesnt eat all the lunch don't deserve gifts!"

Wow, Ethiopia is popular.

I wish I could remember any jokes....

poor ethiopien people... you are so rude :(

yes, that's really rude and I feel bad for smirking.

I only told mine because Yahiko was on a roll with them.

So, blame him.

I knew some hitler + jews jokes that were also very bad taste, but I'm kind of glad I can't remember them right now

Haha funny the vampire joke :)
And that ethiopian joke too :P even though its kindof cruel


Q:What do african-american soldiers do,
when the General shouts "GET DOWN!!!"
A:They start dancing
:P

Being Jewish, I know all of them.

Most popular:

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

A pizza doesn't scream.

LMAO !

Primushead don't get mad...

The joke is from this book...

Lamb
The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal
by Christopher Moore

The birth of Jesus has been well chronicled, as have his glorious teachings, acts, and divine sacrifice after his thirtieth birthday. But no one knows about the early life of the Son of God, the missing years -- except Biff, the Messiahs best bud, who has been resurrected to tell the story in the divinely hilarious yet heartfelt work "reminiscent of Vonnegut and Douglas Adams" (Philadelphia Inquirer).

Verily, the story Biff has to tell is a miraculous one, filled with remarkable journeys, magic, healings, kung fu, corpse reanimations, demons, and hot babes. Even the considerable wiles and devotion of the Saviors pal may not be enough to divert Joshua from his tragic destiny. But theres no one who loves Josh more -- except maybe "Maggie," Mary of Magdala -- and Biff isnt about to let his extraordinary pal suffer and ascend without a fight.


http://www.chrismoore.com/lamb.html


Here is the joke...
So in the story it said Joshua (Jesus) learned kung fu from a temple. Since Joshua doesn't like to hurt people so the monk only teach Joshua the 'gentle' stuff... like throwing opponent to the ground, subdue opponent, locking joint...etc instead of moves that kill people or anything that has to do with weapons.

so the monk named this new kung fu as Judo...




























because... Judo... is the way of Jew :D

Jew do... sorry

Well this is not a joke but it's funny... happened today while I was driving to eat

Not racial!!! Just... funny...

a little history of Compton:
In 2006, the Morgan Quitno Corporation rated Compton as the most dangerous city in the United States with a population of 75,000 to 99,999, and fourth most dangerous overall.[3] The city is notorious for gang violence, primarily caused by the Bloods, the Crips and Hispanic gangs.

That fried chicken place I go: operated by African America


So my coworker is from taiwan is Taiwanese and he speaks Mandarin. So this morning he was talking to his mother and he was saying 'this one' blah blah blah in mandarin which sounded like... 'ni ga'. I can also speak mandarin so I was like whatever.

So when we were driving to Compton today to eat fried chicken... I was like... you better don't talk to your mom in mandarin in compton cause I don't want to die...

I was like... if you point your finger at the fried chicken in front of the cashier and say 'this one', 'this one', and 'this one' in Mandarin... I think we will get shot... :angry:

P.S. Oh ya the fried chicken are good...

Haha. Of course I'm not mad Kenshin, that actually sounds like a great book.

And rofl about the Compton thing.

I started to listen to Christopher Moore's audio books since last summer. I always go on these backpacking trips and I sometime fall asleep while heading to or driving back... 6 hours to get there (fri) and 6 hours+ to drive back (sun)...

So I started listening to audio book... and that helps =)

This guy go off topic like me so I like his story.

i love my 4chan folder...xD

I found this on my subaru board today

http://www.i-club.com/forums/showthread.php?t=181973

The reporter doesn't know she was talking about a GTR... sigh...
http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/147773...Full-Story.html

Awesome! -ui-
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewI...em=330223754897

this penguin is driving along and all of a sudden his car breaks down (ok, i know penguins cant drive but work with me :)) luckily he is near a garage, so he pushes his car to the garage. when he gets there he says to the mechanic, "what is wrong with my car" to which the mechanic replies "i cant tell without doing a full diagnostic on the car. it will take an hour or two. being that you are a penguin there is a nice seafood place up the road, why dont you go eat and when you get back i should have an answer". The penguin says "that is a great idea" and waddles off.

in about an hour he comes back and asks "so, what is wrong with my car"

the mechanic replies, "looks like you blew a seal"

and the penguin says wiping his chin "no! no! it's just a little tartar sauce!!"


LOFL!!! :lol: