Title: .it KILLS me
Description: eli and then vic whenever.
teddy lupin - September 17, 2007 02:55 AM (GMT)
This was so wrong. This wasn’t Teddy Lupin. If it hadn’t been for James, none of this would be happening. If it hadn’t been for James telling him that dating around would get him over Vic, he probably wouldn’t be doing this. When he thought about it, Eli was probably the seventh girl he’d taken out or whatever you wanted to call it in the past two weeks. He was getting tired of this. He wasn’t going to forget about Victoire. He loved her, and he knew that it was never going to change. Eli was a nice girl, beautiful, funky, energetic. But she wasn’t Vic and he couldn’t change that. It was ridiculous for him to think that James was right. He’d wanted him to be right though – he wanted to stop hurting. He’d been hurting for almost a year.
Teddy wouldn’t change from this now. He wasn’t going to stop snogging Eli, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to move from his place on top of her. Well, unless she wanted him to, of course. He didn’t understand it. If he hated it so much, why was he doing this? It was torturing him, but there was something in him that made him keep taking James’s advice.
“Comfortable?” He mumbled against the skin on Eli’s neck, his hands traveling over the fabric of her clothes. The couch was large, that much was for sure. Large enough for him to fit with his legs on either side of a girl. He’d never really thought about it before, how there seemed to be a bit more room on this couch than before. This common room did have its advantages; that much was for sure. The only other person that was able to get into it was Vic, and she should be out patrolling right now.
It wasn’t his first time out with Eli, that was for sure, but it was the first time that it had ever gone this far. She was just one of the long list of girls he’d brought into the common room, though there were only a few that went beyond snogging on the couch. Of course, it was like Vic had a sensor of when there was a girl in the common room besides herself, seeing as she always managed to walk in right in the middle of things. Teddy knew that she didn’t like it, but it brought him a little bit of relief when she seemed to get a little jealous about it. So was he doing this to get Vic jealous, or was he doing this to stop thinking about her?
Teddy moved his open mouthed kisses back up her neck, shifting back to her mouth while his hands traveled to the hem of her shirt. Slipping under, his large hands pressed against her soft skin, traversing the flat plane on her stomach. Even as his hands moved farther up, he couldn’t help thinking of Vic again. If he hadn’t been kissing Eli, he probably would have shut his eyes and shook his head a few times, as if that would somehow get her out of his head. But he couldn’t help it. Everything reminded him of her. She was the first girl that Teddy had actually done anything other than snogging with. In fact, they’d had so many firsts it was unbelievable. She was the first girl he’d kissed, the first girl he’d dated, the first girl he’d felt up, the first girl that he’d ever slept with.
So it was imaginable that he thought of her, right? Or not? It probably wasn’t, but this was Teddy we were talking about. Not James.
elliott abercrombie - September 17, 2007 03:28 AM (GMT)
Eli had decided that she was the patron saint of lost causes. She had been startled the first time Teddy Lupin had asked her out, so startled that it took her a good minute to even acknowledge that he'd asked the question. Teddy was wonderful, she'd known him for a few years, but in knowing Ted, she knew how he felt about Victoire. Everyone knew about the breakup, it had been a constant source of gossip for most of last year. But like many of her classmates, Elliott had assumed they'd gotten back together over the summer, as they should have. The fact that they didn't was more shocking than surprising.
Being in favour of trying for the impossible, she had excitedly accepted his invitation. After all, when would she ever get another chance with the beautiful Teddy Lupin? Eventually he'd figure out he was meant for Victoire and all this nonsense with other girls was just idiotic. Of course, Eli was an opportunist, so she was happy to snog his face off while he pretended to want to do the same.
“Comfortable?”
His breath rebounded off her neck, causing Eli to just about vibrate. Goose bumps popped up over her porcelain skin anywhere he touched. "Hmmm," she moaned her response. Was she comfortable? Gods yes. This was better than any fantasy she'd had about the boy over the past few years. "Yes," she said in a breathy half-moan. Her hand gripped at his t-shirt in an attempt to tug it gently off over his head. She desperately wanted to get her hands on his skin, to explore every bit he could possibly offer. His mouth returned to hers, and she kissed greedily, enjoying this way too much for her own good. If she wasn't careful, she could become completely lost in the poor boy and his gentle touches. There was no way that would end well.
victoire weasley - September 17, 2007 06:11 AM (GMT)
The sound of Victoire Weasley's footsteps echoed through the coridoor. Light foosteps, as she was on patrol. Where was Teddy tonight? She had no idea. He was actually supposed to be patrolling with her tonight. But he was nowhere to be found. At least, when she had thought of actually looking for him he wasn't anywhere. Otherwise, he could have been anywhere at the present time. He was probably back in their common room now. Despite the fact that it was getting late, she decided to extend her patrol for at least an extra half hour. Why, exactly? Because she needed time to clear her mind. Clear all the shit from her mind that was bogging her down. This was wrong. It'd gotten to the point where she couldn't really think straight, even in class.
Things weren't supposed to be complicated like this. They were supposed to be easy. She was supposed to be with Teddy, she was supposed to be enjoying her last year at Hogwarts. Somewhere along the way she'd gotten scared and ran from the way things were supposed to be. Somewhere along the way stopped going the way that was working for her. She changed. A lot. She'd become much more hot-headed than she normally was. She'd been on edge ever since her sister told her that she liked Dom. Her own sister hated her because of the choices she made. Her cousin was convinced she was a homewrecker, and all the while...there was Teddy...as supportive and kind to her as ever. She didn't understand that, above all else. He was still there for her, still the best friend he could possibly be. After everything she'd screwed up, he was still just Teddy.
But she wasn't just Victoire anymore. She'd grown up a lot. But there was one thing that didn't chage; the way she felt about Teddy. He was her first love, her first kiss, her friend best friend, her first...everything. The first boy she'd had sex with, the first boy to plague her dreams with that smile. That wasn't going to change. And forcing herself to try and change the way she felt about him wasn't working. He was her Teddy still, and she was still completely in love with the boy, no matter how much she liked her current boyfriend Dominic. Dom was sweet and kind, definately cute, but he was no Teddy.
She gave up. She looked around for any last signs of people hiding or snogging in broom closets and made her way back up to the dorm. All the while, she was wondering if she would find Teddy sitting in the common room, reading or doing homework...or worse, if she'd find Teddy in the common room, on their couch, doing things with some random girl Victoire probably didn't know. Damn James. James just had to make this ten zillion times harder on Victoire, didn't he? She'd walked in three times this month of Teddy and a random Hufflepuff, a random Blonde, whatever, someone random. She secretly wondered if it was him trying to move on, or him trying to make her jealous by blantantly snogging (sometimes shagging) girls on the couch that they shared, knowing full well that she'd more than likely walk in on the two. It hurt her more than most people could tell. More than Lucy and Reagan could tell, more than James could tell, certainly more than Teddy could tell. The last time it happened, she'd cried herself to sleep, wondering if he could hear her from outside her door.
Tonight was one of those nights, because as soon as she'd said the password and opened the door to their common room, low and behold, right on their couch, was Teddy and a random girl she couldn't place, snogging, obviously in the throws of young lust. She set her jaw, and her eyes flashed dangerously. She slammed the portrait door shut, anger and Veela tendencies taking over her body. She was beyond angry. She was hurting, frustrated, annoyed...jealous most of all. She knew, at least, that her anger was going to get their attention. But instead of doing the one thing they expected her to do, they expected her to yell at them to get out, they would expect her to be livid (which she was). But she was silent. She looked at the two on the couch for a moment with dangerously angry eyes, and turned on her heel, walking past them and into her room, not saying a word.
She slammed her door, put a pillow to her face...and screamed.
The scream turned into tears, which turned into sobs, which turned into a dejected, broken Victoire, finally letting all the pain and frustration she'd felt go. Which led to her waiting for several moments, wondering if she would hear the two young lovers outside her room...
[so i wasn't sure when you guys wanted me to come in, and i have a LOT of muse that i don't know if i'll have once the school week starts. if you wanna keep going without vic for a bit, just post your next reply with that in the OOC...and I'll save this and delete it for now.] teddy lupin - September 17, 2007 11:53 PM (GMT)
“Yes.”
Her answer was a mixture of something between a moan and a breath. Whether it was instinct or something they shared between themselves, it was beyond Teddy. All he knew was that when a girl made that particular sound, there was no way it wasn’t going to drive him crazy. As her hand slid down his chest and gripped lightly at his shirt, he removed his hands from their spots underneath her own. Breaking the kiss just long enough to get the annoying article of clothing off of his body, Teddy leaned back down, pressing his lips against hers again, reinitiating what he’d stopped merely seconds ago.
How much time passed between the time his shirt left his hot skin and the moment Vic walked in, he didn’t know. All he knew was that his hands had taken their places back under Eli’s shirt and were working on pulling it off. The slam had startled him at first, making him break the kiss and shoot up like a young child that was caught red handed stealing cookies from the cookie jar on the counter. Fuck. Without really noticing what he was doing, he ran a hand through his hair, still staring at Vic while her eyes flashed – something he hated being on the receiving end of. Not to mention how awkward all of this was. She hadn’t really ever walked in on him and another girl doing anything more than snogging, maybe she passed a girl running through the portrait hole sweaty and flustered. It made him feel sick to his stomach, having a girl he barely knew being straddled by him on the couch while the girl that he loved stared at them angrily.
He’d been expecting her to throw a fit, throw a tantrum, throw something at them. Be was just waiting for it to happen – you might call this the calm before the storm, if you could call what was flashing on Vic’s face calm. But it never happened. Instead, she just stomped up to her room, and slammed her door. If he’d been listening closely enough, he might of heard her muffled scream, but Teddy didn’t. He was still staring at the spot she’d been at when she came in. And then his attention turned back to Eli.
“Sorry,” he frowned, removing himself from his spot on top of her. “She…” He paused, looking to Vic’s closed door. “I need…” Teddy was at a loss for words. What exactly do you say to someone when something like that happens? Standing up, he looked from Eli to Vic, as if he was battling about what to do inside. “I just…Sorry,” he said, running a hand through his hair and walking to Victoire’s door.
“Vic,” he said quietly, pushing turning the knob and pushing the door open a crack, not putting himself at risk by having something come flying at him if he opened it all the way. He didn’t know what to do. What should he do? Go in there and hug her and tell her it would all be alright? Like that was a good idea. He was the one causing her all the grief. Or, at least, that’s what he was assuming. “If I come in, will you throw anything at me?”
elliott abercrombie - September 18, 2007 03:12 AM (GMT)
The last snogging session Elliott Abercrombie had shared with Teddy was by far less heated than was occurring now. She knew she shouldn't be enjoying it as much as she was, but it was hard not to get a little lost in the heat of the moment. She wondered briefly as to why they had ended up in this particular location. It did dawn on her briefly that she could possibly be used strictly as revenge, but it wasn't really something she wanted to think about, not when Teddy Lupin was on top of her and obviously having a grand enough time.
She was thrilled as his shirt peeled away from his skin. Her eyes and hands roamed over every inch of available skin. Eli reasoned that she may never get this opportunity again, something she was becoming less and less willing to accept, so damn it all, she would fucking enjoy it. His lips were forceful, and his hands seemed to roam just as freely as hers. It seemed as though her shirt was soon to be tossed aside as his was, until a sound of a slammed door jolted her from her reverie. Fuck, she thought, knowing that this was definitely the end.
With a bit of regret, Elliott pulled away from Teddy as he pulled from her. By the time she had pulled herself back into reality, Victoire was already out of the room and screaming into her pillow [not that Eli knew that]. She instantly began to straighten herself out, pull her shirt down, reattach her bra [when had that come unhooked?] and push her hair around so it looked less mussed. His shirt was beside her and without thinking, she pulled it up and handed it to Teddy.
“Sorry. She…I need…“I just…Sorry,”
He was so horribly flustered, it was absolutely adorable. She smiled sweetly and pulled herself to her feet. "I get it," she said, her brows furrowed slightly, "I can show myself out." Before Eli walked to the door, she kissed him lightly on the cheek and then grabbed her bag and moved quickly through the portrait door.
Perhaps it was better it hadn't gone too far after all.
victoire weasley - September 18, 2007 03:46 AM (GMT)
Well Victoire Weasley was just a sucky person, overall. She'd been stringing along Dom, she'd been in love with Teddy from the start. From the start of everything, really. They'd been together from birth, and she was hurting, knowing full well that she had made the biggest mistake in her life...out of fear. Being afraid was not something she was content with being. In fact, she was sure she didn't want to be afraid. That being afraid made her weak, and not being with Teddy...that made her weaker. She was half of who she used to be without him. Like he completed her, however cliche that was. She hated how cliche love was, but if she were being honest with herself, she would know that what her and Teddy had was more than cliche...it was more than anything.
And she threw it all away.
And for what, really? what reason could she have possibly had besides fear? Reason. Reason and the fact that above all else, Victoire Weasley was a realist. And realistically, you don't find the person you're meant to be with when you're born, it just doesn't happen. People grow and people change, and they end up hating eachother in the end of eveything. There were few couples in today's world that lasted. Though she looked at certain couples, her parents, her aunts and uncles...even her grandparents...and she knew that love transcended all of that realist crap. It was more than that. It was better than that. She was better than that. She wasn't a fool, and maybe that was the problem in all of this. She thougth about things way too much for her own good. Overthought things with a passion. And she screwed it all up. Screwed up true love out of fear and reason.
She was a stupid, stupid girl.
More than stupid, Victoire Weasley was a complete and total bint.
She saw the regret etched on his face the moment he was caught with the girl who Victoire now knew to be Elliot Abercrombie. She wasn't a bad girl, and there was no reason for Vic to hate or even dislike the girl. Teddy was a free man. He wasn't tied down with Victoire anymore...he was moving on. And so was she. She had Dom. She would be lying to herself though, if she told herself she wasn't jealous. If things had gone the way they were supposed to, Teddy would have been at patrol with her tonight. If things had gone the way they were meant to, they would have been walking hand in hand, laughing, talking...she would have been the one underneath his feverish snogging on that couch. And she wouldn't be facing nearly as much ridicule as she was this year. She wouldn't be under nearly as much stress.
She would be free and happy and...right.
She didn't hear anything behind her broken sobs, her breath becoming shorter, and her heart racing. Once she'd finally calmed down [after several more minutes of angry tears] she'd come to realize that nothing really mattered. Not the way things turned out, not any of it. Because she didn't have him. She could get kidnapped for all she cared, and it wouldn't amount to the pain she'd put herself through over him. Everything in her world had fallen apart, and she had no idea where to go from here. Teddy was moving on. She was supposed to be moving on; with Dom. But her feelings for Dom, however friendly and innocent, weren't one tenth of the feelings she had for Teddy. True love bit the big one for sure. She was at least positive of that.
She heard a familiar knocking on her door, and looked up to see it cracked open, hearing Teddy's voice on the other end. Just what she needed; an apologetic Teddy. He really didn't have much to apologize for. I mean...he could do whoever he wanted. Maybe he could apologize for snogging in plain sight on their couch...but other than that, he shouldn't have sounded so damn sorry. It made her feel worse for putting him through all this. She contemplated her next move. She could scream at him to go the hell away. She could express the same sentiment politely, or she could give in to what she really wanted and talk to him, let him come into her room and hold her like he used to, tell her everything was going to be okay. She took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her eyes. What was she going to even say. Either way, she found the words flowing from her mouth, her voice cracking a bit at the end...
"No, Teddy...you can come in."
Well that was a start.
teddy lupin - September 18, 2007 09:33 PM (GMT)
There probably wasn’t a span of more than a few minutes of time that went by that he didn’t think of Victoire. She’d just become commonplace inside his head – her face, what she’d said the last time he talked to her, the way that her smell lingered in the air moments after she would walk by him. It was impossible not to think of her. He would do anything to get an extra moment next to her or just a smile out of her, as pathetic as it seemed. And the hurt. People lied. It didn’t get better over time; it got worse.
At least, when you couldn’t be with the girl you were sure was your soul mate, it seemed to get worse every day.
Why he’d taken James’s advice was beyond him – was he just trying to distract himself? No, not even that worked; she still wove her way into his thoughts when there was another girl chattering away or if he was snogging her. If he would have seen himself, he probably been angry at him. The way he treated the girls he entertained was awful – he was always distracted, there but not quite. He should have learned after the first month or so that it wasn’t going to help. But Teddy still clung to the hope that it might work one day, though, at the same time, he wished it wouldn’t. He didn’t want to let go of her, but he knew he needed to. It was logical – it didn’t seem like he was going to get her back. Since when is love logical, though?
There were just so many things that were tumbling around inside of him for close to the past year, and he still didn’t understand them. He was hurt that she didn’t have enough faith that you could meet your true love when you were young, that she had to date around to be sure she wasn’t missing the right guy. Teddy wanted her back, but he couldn’t help feeling that it wasn’t going to happen. At the same time he was trying to push himself forward, clinging to the idea that it might work, he was struggling not to let go. Simply put, Teddy was confused.
“No, Teddy . . . you can come in.”
Hearing her voice, he slumped slightly. She was never good at hiding things from him, and vice versa. They could read each other like the books they adored so much. Pushing the door open just enough for his skinny frame to slide through, he looked at Vic. The moment he took her in, he seemed to crumple inside. No matter how badly he hurt, he never wanted to see her upset in anyway. And the fact that she’d obviously been crying and who knows what else just made him feel lower than a worm next to a casket.
He didn’t move from his spot next to her door, his hand running over his bare chest as he stared at him, his eyes intense in the saddest ways. “Vic,” he started softly, never taking his sea-spray eyes off of her face.
“I’m sorry.”
victoire weasley - September 19, 2007 01:02 AM (GMT)
There was an overwhelming sense of something in the room, and what it was, Victoire couldn't pinpoint. She'd been lucky enough to decorate her new dorm this year with all the things she'd been able to decorate with at home. She had her own comforters of blue silk, her own carpet, everything was just the way she had liked it. And the mirror of her vanity was filled with pictures. She hopped off her bed and went over to it, looking over the pictures there. There were pictures of her with Lucy and Reagan, her with the Marauders, and there were a few from a happier time. Those few were the ones that she couldn't part with after the breakup. They highlighted what it was like to be Teddy and Victoire. One of them was of the two at the Quidditch World Cup the summer before their fourth year. Another was of the two getting their prefect badges. The final one, her personal favorite, was of the two of them on their second anniversary, laughing.
Things used to be good like that.
She frowned as she looked at the pictures, not knowing much of what to say to him. On the one hand, Teddy really had nothing to be sorry about. They weren't together, and he could screw whoever he wanted to, for lack of a better term. And at the same time, this had happened before. And she was bloody fed up with it. In fact, she couldn't take it anymore. She wasn't sure if she could walk in on another scene like that and be okay. In fact, she was almost sure that she wouldn't. She would probably implode, or something. Because really there was nothing more that she could do to make herself believe that she wasn't just being jealous. And the second she'd come to accept that she would have to come to terms with the fact that Teddy Lupin was, in fact, her soulmate. But what was soulmates anyways? Brilliant, funny, sweet Teddy was her soulmate...no matter what she believed about the whole concept of "forever".
And that would just open a whole new can of complications.
For so long she wasn't sure that she believed in soulmates. Now? She wasn't so sure. All of this was so unfair to Dom, though. Because in reality, her feelings for Dom didn't matter because of Teddy, and her feelings for Teddy didn't matter because she was with Dom. Oh boy, this was complicated. But in all honesty, this was taking a lot out of her. The whole, walking in on Teddy and a girl thing. It was KILLING her inside and she couldn't seem to get it out of her system. She had to do something. So before he got to her room, she'd screamed and cried. She had needed that. Now that she'd gotten her hurt feelings out of the way, all that was left was anger. Complete and total anger for the fact that it was absolutely impossible for him to respect her feelings, or the fact that the common room was a SHARED space between the two of them. If she were to be honest with herself, it was the last of her cares. But the second she pushed all the other complications to the back of her mind...the anger and frustration was all that was left.
“I’m sorry.”
Somehow, she felt horrible and angry at the same time. She felt horrible for what she was about to do, for the fact that after all of the things she'd done, he was the one apologizing, when there was so little he had to apologize for. But she couldn't just disregard what she'd seen, and she had to mask her hurt with something, and anger just seemed to be the best choice. Anger seemed to fit, lately. She'd been particularly moody as of late, and this wasn't any different. She didn't turn to him, not yet. She just repeated softly. "Sorry..." She wasn't questioning his apology, but she was merely repeating it. As if to say, sure, you're sorry...so what? So what if he was sorry. It still happened. He'd said sorry the last time it happened, but here they were again. She furrowed her brow and looked at him. "So what? You're sorry. What happens next time, Teddy? I swear to Merlin," she started on on her rant, not wanting to so much as needing to get it out of her system. She crossed over to him, standing closer, her voice raising a bit with every step. "If this happens one more time, Teddy...I'm done. I'll move back to the Ravenclaw dorms, and I swear to Merlin I'll," she didn't finish.
She couldn't finish because what else was there left to threaten with? She looked up at him angrily, her eyes flashing dangerously as before. She couldn't say anything else...so she was left halfway through a sentence glaring at him with a sort of angry glare that only could be from the Veela side of her personality.
teddy lupin - September 23, 2007 07:17 PM (GMT)
Teddy felt as if he was actually going to be sick. He felt like leaving the room and retching, knowing that he’d caused her whatever pain she was going through. And the kicker was that it was all unintentional. Never did he place himself in the room when he knew Vic would be walking in on them. It wasn’t as if he planned to turn her into an emotional basket case at least once a week. Knowing Teddy; that was exactly the opposite of what he wanted. He wanted her to happy and vibrant like she’d been with him. Though he didn’t realize it, his subconscious was starting to make the connection that maybe she couldn’t not be an emotional wreck without him.
She was standing at her vanity mirror when he walked in, obviously looking at the pictures that had been placed around it. Even when he just squinted for a few seconds, he could make out some key ones. There were ones that he was in, with her and the rest of the marauders. Then there were the ones from when they’d dated. You could see a turquoise haired Teddy with his arm over Victoire’s shoulders waving while he wore Ireland’s green hat at the Quidditch World Cup just before their fourth year. There was one with the two of them getting their badges, but that one wasn’t as ache-inducing as the one of the two of them on their second anniversary, laughing and waving. At the very end, you could see Teddy leaning in to kiss Vic’s cheek, but the cycle ended before he came within an inch of her cheek and started with them waving like loons again. He gulped, trying not to focus on what he didn’t have anymore.
“Sorry.”
She didn’t turn to look at him, her voice not questioning or accusing. She was just repeating. She wouldn’t even look at him, standing there bare-chested and in an attitude of apology. He wouldn’t be anything other than patient with her. That was part of loving someone, right? Even if they didn’t love you back? Though, as she turned around, he knew that she wasn’t going to be quite as patient with him.
“So what? You’re sorry. What happens next time, Teddy? I swear to Merlin, if this happens one more time, Teddy … I’m done. I’ll move back to the Ravenclaw dorms, and I swear to Merlin I’ll …”
There was no doubt that she was part Veela, and there was no doubt in Teddy’s mind that she wasn’t going to hold back as she walked over to him, her voice rising every step closer to him she took. It almost made him want to take a step back and just walk out as to get away from her fury.
There were a million things that he could come back at her with. Really, there were. It was his bloody common room as much as it was hers, and he really could have whoever he wanted in it at whatever time he chose! Or, if she didn’t like that angle, he could always tell her to get over herself, that if she didn’t like what she was seeing, she should have never broken up with him in the first place. But Teddy being Teddy would never let those thoughts spill from his lips. Instead, he settled for a soft, “Vic,” as he ran his hand through his hair.