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Young Writers Club > Fantasy/Sci Fi > Not Close to Perfect



Title: Not Close to Perfect
Description: PG-PG13 (At least, it will be)


Nickisha - June 25, 2005 05:46 PM (GMT)
Okay, so this may seem like it doesn't belong here at first. But, once I get more feedback I'll add more chapters, and it will seem like it belongs here :)

Lizzy used to have a hard life, coping with her parents death, going to the graveyard everyday for hours, and being the "loser" of the school. After a few years, she was on top of the world again. Her grandparents let her live in her own apartment, and even bough her a car. In her new school, she was popular. Head cheerleader and dating Alex, aka quarterback of the football team. But even though they look like a perfect couple: Are they really? And does she spend a little too much time at the graveyard?

Chapter 1
Lizzy as always kissed her Grandmother on the cheek before she left. Usually she would bet at her apartment, but her Grandfather had a heart-attack the night before and she was sad about it. She loved himd early and didn't want him to pass on. She lost her parents, and that was enough.
"Take a bagel, dear" Grandma said to her as she was leaving.
"I'll eat at school or something..." Lizzy said believable, but lying. She was on a diet, though there was no need for that. Since she only weighed 103 lbs.

She hopped in her car, a 2005 Honda S2000, she loved it like it was like her own baby. She drove off to school, a hot coffee cup in hand. She drunk it and turned the dial on the radio. She found one of her favorite songs: 'Perfect' by Simple Plan. It reminded her so much of her own life.

Lizzy reached school as she locked the doors and carrying her purse into the school, she had a few minutes before the home-room bell rang.
She searched around to find Alex.

She spotted him, shrieking, and ran to gave him a kiss. As always, routine.
"Hey" She greeted him and smiling at him as well.
"Hey" He greeted her back. He kissed her again.
"Why didn't you call me last night?"
"I had things to do."
"Like what?"
"Stuff"
"What 'stuff'?"
"Oh my God, Woman, You don't need to know what I'm doing 24/7"
"Whatever" She said walking off, almost filled with tears.

Marzipan - August 13, 2005 06:45 PM (GMT)
Yes, it had me confused for a minute why it was in this section, I'll take your word for it. :P Looks good, keep it up!

Mimi - April 18, 2006 11:33 AM (GMT)
Its good, but very fast paced...Id like to get to know more about the characters! :)

Shadeslayer - November 6, 2007 06:43 AM (GMT)
It seems good so far... but it sounds like you would be describing your own life to me




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