Now I lay me down:
I heard Ringo’s toenails click across the floor first. Then I head the sound of footsteps on our front porch. I glanced at the clock. 4:30. Mom would be working till 11:30 at Perkins. The bell on the microwave went off right as Ringo burst into a ball of crazed fur, barking and scratching at the door, begging to be let out. I pulled the macaroni and cheese from the microwave and set it on the counter, heading for the front door.

Ringo whined, clawing at the door. I opened it and saw her sitting on our front steps. Her back leaned against the fencing that surrounded the porch. It looked as if it was the only thing holding her up. Her hair hung unwashed in front of her eyes. Her baggy overalls looked two sizes to small, and her eyes were red from crying. My first instinct was to pull into my arms and tell her everything would be alright, but I hung back. When I tried to kiss her yesterday she’d slapped me across the face so hard she left a print on my cheek. Ringo darted between my feet, and lunged at her, eager to be pet.

I stepped out of the house, shutting the door behind me. The trees were on fire with color. Fall was almost over. Each night was getting colder and colder. A bite of winter hung waiting in the air. I leaned against the doorframe, crossing my arms in front of me. Ringo rolled around at her feet, but it was like she didn’t even see him. She stared at the ground in front of her feet.

“Hey,” I said, for the sake of saying anything. She turned on me angrily. “I don’t want it.” She said, her voice colder then a glacier.

“What?” I said, pretending the chill I felt was from the fall air and not her words.

“You heard me,” She spat. “I’m getting an abortion.”

It felt like all the blood left my body. The world was spinning to fast for me to stay upright. I reached for the doorframe for balance and realized I was shaking. “No,” The word came out breathless, barely a whisper.

“I don’t want this thing Alec!” She screamed at me, all her underlying fury hitting me full force. “I don’t want it inside of me anymore.” She wouldn’t even call our child a baby. I felt sick. I was sure I was going to throw up all over the porch. I wished the world would stop spinning so fast.

I took a step towards her, but she held out her hands stopping me from coming any closer. “I promised you.” I said, “I told you that I’ll be a great father. I’ll take care of us Jenny. All of us.” Ever since she told me she was pregnant I’d taken more hours at work. It was a mindless job at the Supermart. Stocking shelves and zoning, but it was good money. The plan was to save enough to get an apartment for us by graduation.

“I’m not like my dad,” I told her. He’d walked out of my life when I was three. I hardly remembered him and I hadn’t seen or heard from him since. “I’ll take care of us.” I realized I was starting to cry. How could she want to kill our baby? It was part of both of us.

“I don’t want it anymore.” She said, starting to cry too. “I’m tired. I’m sick all the time. I can’t keep anything down. I feel terrible. I look awful. None of my clothes fit. I just wanted you to know, before I did it. It’s not like I need your blessing.” Her words sounded so wrong. “It’s my body. It’s my choice.”

“But it’s my baby too!” I said, feeling hysterical.

“You can’t force me to have this thing Alec, if you try and stop me from getting the abortion I’ll tell everyone you raped me, then say goodbye to your scholarship.” I couldn’t believe the words I was hearing. Who was this girl? “I hate you!” She screamed. I stared at her.

“I love you.” I said softly. She stared at me before bursting into tears.

“I just want it to be done.” She said, sobbing into her hands.

I got down on my knees next to her, grabbing her in a hug. “It’ll be okay.” I said, as we both cried. “We’ll be okay.”

“Aren’t you listening Alec? You’ve done enough. I’m going to fix this thing my way.” She got up to leave. I grabbed her hand, stopping her from stepping off the steps. “Before you do anything, will you come with somewhere tomorrow?” I begged her with my eyes, pleading, praying with all my heart that she’d say yes.

She met my gaze for just a moment, “Fine,” She said, and walked away.

***
I picked her up the next day a 10. I opened the door of my truck and helped her inside. We drove quietly, neither saying a word. I watched her from the corner of my eye. I really did love her. More then she could ever know.

We turned into the hospitals parking lot and I parked the truck. We got out. I held her hand as we walked in the building.

45 minutes later, I watched a grey and white blob swim around a TV screen and felt my heart swell with pride. “Would you like to know the gender?” The nurse helping us asked. Jenny cast me a stony glare. She was no happy when she found out why we were here, but by then it was too late to back out. I nodded eagerly. “It’s girl.” The nurse said smiling at us.

A girl! I was going to have a daughter! I smiled widely. I glanced over at Jenny. She was staring at the TV screen, as if held in a trance. “That’s our little girl?” She said, running her fingers gently over the screen, and putting a hand to her stomach. The nurse smiled at us, “Congratulations! Do you have a name picked out?”

“Hope.” I said, kissing Jenny’s forehead. “She’s our Hope.”