Parts of this book as a whole may need to be classified as PG-13 because of the occasional swear word and some semi-violent scenes
Please read and comment. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated. I want to improve my story.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
Avari heard a noise in her sub-conscious. She winced as the shrill sound invaded the peaceful quietness of her dream, yanking her painfully back into reality.
Stop, she thought, it was all she could think. She wasn’t asking much was she? No, she just wanted to sleep, not that much to ask.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
She groaned, willing the thing to stop with her mind.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
It was no use. Instinctively her hand shot out and smashed the alarm clock to bits; she hadn’t even bothered to look for the snooze button.
Avari could feel a smirk tug at her lips as she placed her hand back in its normal position on her fluffy pillow.
She laid there for a minute, her mind absorbing the quietness and slowly settling back down. She was about to fall back asleep when she felt a dampness start to spread across the fabric of her pillow case to her fingertips. What is that, she thought.
Then it hit her, blood. Pain shot through her hand as it sometimes does when you first realize you’re bleeding. Suddenly her senses were on full alert. She jumped out of bed, knocking her head against the top bunk and creating a sound that resonated like a gong throughout the room. A stream of curses escaped her lips as she got up, clutching her head with her undamaged hand.
That was the fifth alarm clock this month, she thought. Though this was the first time any of them had decided to fight back, she added, frowning at her hand. She sat down on her bed, appling pressure to the wound to try and halt the bleeding. She looked around the room, it was fairly small and empty; there were three doors, one led to her bathroom , one to her closet and the other led to the rest of the house. The only furnature was her bunk bed in the corner and beside it, her bed-side table.
Sighing, she walked over to her bedside table and opened a drawer, and began searching for bandages. Once she found them she wrapped them around her hand and placed them back in the drawer. She glanced at the alarm clock, trying to decide what to do with its remains; finally she concluded the best thing to do would be to clean it up now instead of waiting till later.
She picked up the trashcan, the pressue made her hand throb; still the thought of just how much more damage the alarm clock received was comforting. It was even comforting enough to keep her smiling as she brushed the evidence of the brief “conflict” into the plastic waste basket.
What day is today, she thought, glancing up at her calender, Friday, crap that meant school.
She placed the trashcan back on the ground and moved towards her closet to get some clothes for school. The closet door squealed in protest as she opened it. She gave it one big shove and it finally gave in. She searched in the closet for pants, finally emerging with a pair of jeans.
She tossed them behind her, watching as they fell to the ground. She resumed her search for the rest of her outfit. She grumbled to herself at the mysterious difficulty of finding matching clothes. Eventually she found a blue T-shirt that said “alarm clocks suck” with a smashed alarm clock on the front.
Ironic, she thought.
Finally she had once again completed the morning ritual of “clothes hunting”. She backed away from the closet door to shut it. Again it protested, not wanting to be shut. This time it wouldn’t obey so she just gave up, leaving it half way open. She walked away frowning as she picked up her pants and walked into her bathroom. Despite the difficulties she had thus far she couldn’t help but smile as she was greeted warmly by the smell of blueberries her candles emitted. She always kept them in good supply, there was always at least one burning in the bathroom. She dumped her clothes in a pile on the floor as she let the water heat and took off her pajamas so she could take a shower. She put her hand under the bathtub faucet to check the temperature. Perfect, she thought, as her hand made contact with the hot water. She stepped into the shower and turned the middle knob. After a second or two the water began to fall from above, cold at first, but quickly warming until the temperature matched that of the water before.
The warm water felt good on her sore muscles and aching head. She could feel her body absorbing more and more of its delightful warmth. She rubbed her shoulder massaging the tense muscles. When she glanced down at her shoulder, she saw her birthmark. Birthmark, the word sounds so harmless, she thought, Heh, this thing was anything but harmless, well, what it stood for was harmful anyway. By itself it actually was quite harmless. It was proof that she was an elemental. She didn’t know what her element was, but considering the shape, which was sort of like a sun, she thought it was probably light or fire. She’d know for sure in a month’s time, that would be the day when she got her element. This day would be very special, sort of like graduation. She would receive her element, her elemental weapon, a telepathic connection with her teammates, plus her mini-elemental, whatever that was. She couldn’t wait.
By that point Avari was rinsing the last bits of conditioner out of her hair. She stepped out of the shower, steam swirling around her body. It drifted away, spreading out evenly through the room. Without the steam the air felt cold and frigid against her warm skin. Shivering she walked over to the closet and pulled out a soft towel, wrapping herself in it. She quickly dried herself off the best she could, then proceeded to pull on her clothes.
After making sure she hadn’t forgotten anything, she walked out of the bathroom, grabbed her cell phone, and walked downstairs.
Avari went into the kitchen, looking to see if her mom had left yet. She had, but it didn’t really matter, Avari walked to school anyway. She checked the time on her cell phone, early. She decided to wait in the garden for Ky and Zen to come by to walk with her to school. Kyril and Zenith had been Avari’s two best friends since childhood. They, like her, were elementals.
Avari walked into the living room and slipped on her shoes, before opening the door and walking outside.
First I really appreciate the two critiques i got. Thank you and I took your edits and changed it. I tried to make it better, tell me what you think, heres the rest of chapter 1. Again I really love getting critiques plz comment.
As soon as she emerged her body was met with warm rays of sunlight. She shielded her eyes from the brightness, but the warmth felt pleasant on her skin. She walked through the yard and over to the gate to the garden. Avari opened the door and walked inside. She stalled for a moment, waiting to hear the sound of the gate shutting.
Clang! Smiling, she continued to walk deeper into the garden. Avari had always loved the garden. It had flowers of every color imaginable, purple, red, pink, yellow, and orange, it even had some blue ones. She looked around her, smiling, and searching for the bench. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the bench, walked over, and sat down. It was perfect. The bench was right in the middle of the garden, in front of several rose bushes, plus it was visible from the street so Ky and Zen would see her. A few minutes passed as Avari sat there admiring the garden in all of its beauty; occasionally getting up to smell a flower. Then finally movement from near the gate caught her attention.
“Hey Avari”
Avari smiled, it was Ky.
“Hey, where’s Zen?”
“Oh, he left his backpack at the apartment, he said he’d catch up,” he said, sitting beside her.
“Ok, he better not make us late though,” Avari replied.
Buzzzzz!
Avari jumped, knocking Ky off the bench. Avari’s eyes went wide with horror, her hand vibrated, making her jump again, this time letting out a small, eep!.
Ky laughed and pointed to her cell phone, which was now lying on the ground, vibrating in circles. Avari reached down and picked it up.
“Hello?”
“Hey Avari, uh sorry I’m gonna be a bit late”
“Yeah, we noticed,” She said.
“Heh, well can you guys meet me at the park instead so we’re not late?”
“Sure, no problem, be there in a minute.”
“Ok, bye”
“Bye,” Avari hung up the phone and put it in her pocket. Avari saw Ky, still on the ground, looking up at her as if to ask, “Who was it?” She stood up and reached out her uninjured hand to help him off the ground.
“It was Zen,” She said, “He wants to meet us at the park.”
Ky started to walk towards the gate, “Well, let’s go.”
Avari followed him out of the garden. She stopped for a moment to hear the gate shut, and then sprinted a few steps to catch up with Ky. Once she caught up with him she slowed to a walk.
Ky was taller than Avari by about four inches. Like all elementals, his face was nearly perfect. He had baby blue eyes and light brown hair that reached his upper back but was normally kept in a low ponytail. His features were soft and friendly. He was wearing semi-baggy blue jeans and a white t-shirt covered by an unbuttoned blue shirt that matched his eyes. His birthmark was on the underside of his wrist. His looked like either fire or waves, she couldn’t tell which.
Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard Ky say, “We’re here, look there’s Zen.” Her mind returned to reality. She looked up to see Zen waving as he ran toward them. Zen had dark brown eyes and jet-black hair that went down to his chin, it was naturally straight, and, being an elemental, he looked almost perfect. His features were sharp, unlike Ky’s, but not unkind. He was wearing jeans and a baggy black t-shirt with a picture of a dragon on it. Her thoughts were again interrupted as he caught up with them.
“Hey guys!”
“Yo,” Avari replied jokingly, waving once with a peace sign. She noticed she had accidentally used her bandaged hand and it just so happened that Ky noticed too.
“Avari, what happened to your hand?” He asked.
“Oh that, well I kind of went to war with my alarm clock,” she said sheepishly.
Zen began counting on his fingers then said, “That’s the fifth one this month!”
Avari sighed, “Tell me about it. I don’t think Mom’s going to be very happy when she finds out she has to buy me another one.” Avari laughed, “It was kind of funny though. We still have a little way to go; I’ll tell you about it if you want me to.”
Zen was the first to answer, “Sure, why not?”
Ky nodded in agreement, “Yeah, it should be interesting.”
Avari’s grin widened as she told them the story. When she had finished both boys had fallen over from laughing so hard.
“There…is…no…way…you did…that,” Zen said in-between fits of laughter.
Avari groaned, “I know it’s funny but it can’t be that funny.” She frowned, “Let’s get going, I don’t want to be late.”
They both struggled to get up and after a few failed attempts they finally succeeded. Avari grabbed them both by the wrist and pulled them along.
As they neared the school entrance she dropped their wrists and ran ahead, thinking she would be late. She burst through the doors with five minutes left before the bell. I guess I’m not late after all, she thought. Ky and Zen were still a little ways behind her so she decided to wait by the door of their homeroom for them to catch up.
Avari started walking when she heard an annoying sound coming from her left.
“Nice bandages Talem,” it said, using its odd nasal voice to say Avari’s last name, “Aw, poor baby, did you get a scratch?”
Avari spun around on her heel to face in the direction of the voice. It was Eva Roswell, a girl who had the crazy idea that she ran the school. Avari walked up to her and thrust her hand in Eva’s face while ripping off the bandages. Despite the crippling pain that now pulsed through her hand Avari managed to smirk and say, “Yeah, I got a scratch.”
A look of horror spread across Eva’s face as blood oozed from Avari’s wound. Avari wiped up some blood that had gotten on her wrist and flicked it on Eva’s white top.
“Oops, sorry, I didn’t mean it, honest,” Avari said sweetly. She looked Eva in the eyes and said in a quieter voice, “Now, what the hell do you want?”
Eva looked repulsed by the blood now dripping on the floor, but recovered quickly.
“You listen to me,” Eva replied, her tone deathly quiet, “Ky and Zen may be nice enough to hang out with the likes of you,” she glanced at the blood on the floor. “But it doesn’t mean that they like you, and I suggest that you keep your hands off them if you know what’s good for you,” she said before stalking off.
Avari almost burst out laughing, Eva had been threatening her all year, if you can even call that a threat and nothing had happened yet. She even sounded childish.
“Avari!”
She turned around, Zen was sprinting towards her, “Why did you take your bandages off?” He picked up the bandages off the floor and started trying to bandage her hand. She saw his birthmark, it was on the palm of his hand, it looked like a squiggly line, maybe hills or water or even wind.
“It’s no use Zen, she reopened the wound, and the bandages just soak through.
She needs to see the nurse. Zen, sprint ahead and tell the nurse to find something to stop the bleeding; I’ll carry her there.”
Zen nodded and sprinted in the direction of the nurse’s office.
Avari then turned to Ky, “You know very well I am not going to let you carry me.”
He smirked, “Avari, can you walk and stop the bleeding at the same time?”
She nodded then stopped when he grinned.
“And not run into poles?” he added.
Avari sighed and shook her head, “But I’m still not letting you carry me.”
“Fine,” He said as he hoisted her onto his back and started off in the direction of the nurse’s office.
She looked at him disbelievingly, “What are you doing?”
“I’m giving you a piggy back ride, what does it look like?”
She just stared at him, mouth open; she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t even know how to protest, she was about to attempt it when she heard a gasp.
She glanced to see what it was, Eva. Avari almost shouted, “YES!” but managed to contain herself. This was perfect, her face was red with fury, mouth open, eyes wide, and fists clenched so hard that Avari was surprised that her hard as a rock, fake nails didn’t pierce her skin. Avari decided to wrap her arms around Ky’s neck. She looked at Eva. Eva’s face was redder than Avari thought possible and this time her nails did pierce her skin, drawing about a drop of blood from her right hand. Eva cried out in pain. Ky looked at Avari confused. Why was he looking at her? Oh! Her arms, right. She covered it up quickly by asking, “Ky, don’t you think the blood is slowing?”
A look of realization appeared on his face as he glanced at her hand. Thank goodness, thought Avari.
“Maybe, but keep trying to stop the flow, it’s still coming.”
Avari withdrew her hands and began, once again, trying to halt the blood flow. The extra weight didn’t seem to affect Ky at all, which was one of the many advantages to being an elemental. You got extra strength, speed, intelligence, everything. It really helped out in training.
“We’re here,” said Ky, as he ducked under the nurse’s office door and placed her on the bed. The nurse, after a moment, noticed they had arrived and walked over to the bed. She was a plump, cheery looking woman. She had red hair that was in a bun.
“Do you think we could stay?” Zen asked.
The nurse nodded before returning her attention to Avari.
“Ok dear,” she said in her cheerful voice, “this may sting a bit but it will halt the bleeding.”
Avari nodded as the nurse took out what looked like a piece of thick chalk from a plastic container. She began rubbing it on Avari’s palm. Avari grinned, this doesn’t, “Ow!”
“I warned you it might sting,” the nurse said with a chuckle. Avari didn’t really mind pain it was just unexpected, even if she had been warned. That was another advantage of being an elemental. Elementals have an extremely high pain tolerance and heal quickly too.
“Finished,” the nurse declared, returning the evil chalk of doom back into its container. She waddled over to the other side of the room, and then came back with a roll of bandages. She tightly bound Avari’s cut and sent them back to class.
~*~*~*~
Avari sat in her 7th period classroom, eyes on the clock, and watching intently. It was so close, only three minutes away. No, two minutes and fifty-nine seconds, fifty-eight, fifty-seven, fifty-six, fifty-five, fifty-four, fifty-three, fifty-two, fifty-one, fifty!, forty-nine---
~*~*~*~
Finally, down to the last ten seconds, nine, eight, her muscles tensed, seven, she clenched her teeth, six, she started to stand ever so slightly, five, she was about to jump up and go, four, three, two, she could have sword she was sweating in anticipation, and 2.
RING!!!
Avari heard the bell and was out of her seat, the room and the school before anyone else could even rise from their seats.
“Yes,” she shouted, as she burst out the doors. She knew there was no one there so she did a back flip in mid air and landed at the bottom of the stairs, feet spread apart and arms raised. She got an idea. She leaped into the nearest tree, climbing to the top without breaking a sweat. She sat there and waited for Ky and Zen. The wait seemed to take forever, when, finally, students began to exit the building. Avari watched intently, waiting until she was Ky or Zen. Wait there! She saw them; they had just walked out the door and were headed her way. Just a little further…There! Ok, she thought, time to jump. She dropped from the tree and went into a free fall, she could feel the icy chill the wind sent up her spine and shivered. She twisted her body until her face was pointed at the sky.
“Think fast,” she shouted at Ky and Zen below. Avari could hear the shrieks from the students as she plummeted towards the ground. She didn’t care; she knew the either Ky or Zen would catch her. She felt herself land in two arms. She let out a surprised,”Oof,” she had hit harder than expected. She couldn’t see who had caught her because her hair was in her face. She brushed away her hair to reveal Ky with a startled look on his face and Zen coming towards them from behind.
Ky started talking, “What on earth…”
“What the heck were you thinking? You could have gotten yourself killed!” Zen interrupted.
Avari grinned, “I knew one of you would catch me.”
Ky couldn’t help but grin too, “You’re awful, we could have missed!”
Her grin widened, “But you didn’t, did you?”
She could hear Ky sigh, “No, I caught you…”
What he said next caught her completely off guard.
“But because you almost scared Zen to death,” he glanced at Zen before saying, “literally, I’m not going to put you down either.”
Now it was his turn to grin. Avari groaned, she knew she couldn’t struggle because then people would see her extra strength and if she only struggled as much as a normal human he could easily keep hold of her. She was trapped and she knew it. She glanced at Ky and sighed, because by the look on his face he knew it too. Avari sighed, “Well as we both know there’s absolutely nothing I can do to stop you.” At this Ky grinned mischievously. Avari rolled her eyes, “but I swear once we’re out of crowded areas—“
Ky interrupted her, “Avari, relax; why do you hate this so much anyway? Not to sound cocky but I bet lots of girls would die to be in your position right about now.”
Avari smirked, “Well, whether you intended it or not, it did sound cocky, but it is true,” she admitted in defeat, seeing the hoard of jealous girls.
He smiled, “Okay then let’s go over here so I can tell you a secret. She perked up, “What kind of secret?”
He laughed, “You’ll see.”
So Ky and Zen walked out into the woods and sat down on a big rock. Ky started talking, “Since your birthday is a week from now—“
“Wait,” Avari interrupted, “How do you know my birthday, I’ve never told anyone.”
He just grinned, “I have my ways. Anyway, Zen and I did something very special for you, but the only way we’re going to give it to you is if you agree to let us help you when you need help from now on.”
This made her frown, “I never need your help,” she insisted, knowing how childish she sounded.
Zen started talking, “Oh yes you do, you needed Ky’s help when you jumped out of the tree, and both of our help when you wound reopened, and that’s just in one day that isn’t even over yet.”
Avari opened her mouth to argue but shut it again when she found that she had nothing to say.
“Look,” said Ky, his voice softer, “we’re no tasking much, just accept our help, you don’t have to adept anyone else’s help, just ours, and I promise it won’t make you look weak.”
When he said those last few words Avari felt her whole body freeze up. How did he know? Well, she’d worry about hat later, for now she had a decision to make. They were the two people she trusted most in the whole world, and they only wanted to help her. She could live with that, and they even promised not to think of her as weak. It couldn’t hurt, besides she did need help now and then. She had to admit it would be a relief to not do everything on her own.
“You promise you won’t think of me as weak?” Avari asked.
“Promise, besides we accept help from you and each other all the time, if that made people weak, we’d be weak. Do you think of us as weak?” Ky said.
She shook her head, it was true, she didn’t think of them as weak.
She’d never even noticed them accepting help before. Avari couldn’t believe it, but the thought of accepting help actually made her smile.
“Okay, I’ll agree, but on one condition,” Avari grinned and Ky and Zen both raised an eyebrow.
She looked up at Ky, “You have to carry me all the way to training today,” she announced. This shocked Ky for a moment but then he grinned.
“: I suppose I could do that,” he said. Avari decided she kind of liked being carried, and now that she was accepting help she figured she’d start there.
~*~*~*~
As Ky carried Avari down the trail she began to relax. Ky was very careful not to drop her and she knew he could easily support her weight. Truthfully, the bottom line was that she trusted him. She felt like she was invincible, protected from the world and all its troubles, and it felt good. Foe once she felt no need to worry. She could simply lay there, eyes closed, relaxed. Avari had begun to dose off when suddenly her whole body felt a jolt. Startled she looked around her, trying to figure out what had happened. Then she saw the ground, it was moving towards her. Actually, she as moving towards it. Her eyes closed as she braced herself for impact. When, suddenly, she was up righted. This left her totally confused, a second ago she was gonna splat, and now everything was fine. Avari looked up at Ky; she wanted to know what happened. But all she saw was Ky with a slightly embarrassed grin.
“I tripped,” he said sheepishly.
“You tripped? I thought I was going to die, “Avari said, realizing she had blown the thing way out of proportion.
His grin widened, “But you didn’t die, did you?”
Avari’s mouth fell open, she couldn’t believe it, he was mocking her. He had used her won words against her, and all she could do was pout.
End of Chapter 1