So I've decided to try my hand at fairy tales, as Anwen suggested once upon a time... This will not be too long, but I will post a few times because I can't write it all at one go. Critique very much appreciated, I've never really tried this before, only my own takes on a previously-written story.
I'd also like to add that this probably has more detail than most fairy tales, from what I've read anyway.
Copyright© All Rights Reserved
And there was a girl.
Quite an ordinary girl, mind you. So much so, in fact, she was named Sarah Ordinary. No one knew how this name came about, not even she. Everyone, since anyone could remember, had called her just that.
Sarah, during her teen years, when most adolescents were developing their talents or indulging in frivolous activities (not to mention a few rolls in the hay), didn't appear to care for much. She studied placidly, attended to her dog Mercer and did all of her household duties without complaint. Sometimes she would take small pleasure in her simple surroundings, swaying in time to the clandestine music of the trees, the relaxing rush of the babbling water swirling around the brookstones, and most of all, the sweeping thrill when she heard the continuous, sweetly-pitched trill of a bird which she knew not the name of. Such music, it made her want to exclaim in delight!
"My heart is full, no malcontent shall ever deplete it's store!"
This is how the young woman spent her days, more and more frequently, feeding her soul off the melodies she felt she was graciously allowed to hear, perhaps feeling that someone was taking pity on her ordinariness.
One day, a fifteen year-old Sarah decided to, for the first day in her life, take a day off and stroll through the woods with a picnic lunch which she had prepared herself. Once well ensconced in the deep security of the thick trees, she gathered up her skirts and sat down on the sheet she had laid out, as to prevent grass stains.
"Blublublub..."
A familiar sound greeted her ears. Why hello old friend! She smiled at the stream of water that panned out to become a gushing river. Glancing at the clear liquid, she bent over to take a drink. To her dismay, a man stood directly behind her!
Sarah shot up, her posture stiffening immediately, trying to force herself to act like the ladies Mildred, her caretaker, had so often asked her to observe.
"Good morrow sir, please, drink. I was on my way back anyway."
The man looked puzzled, then his lips curved upwards, revealing straight, white teeth.
"Please my lady, I mean not to harm you or even bother you! I am a simple traveller, just stopping to refill my canteen." He held up a leather bottle and turned it upside-down. "See? Empty. All I want is to refill it."
Sarah gestured to him to do so, but cautiously staying back all the same.
"So, what brings you here, my lady?" The man attempted to strike up a conversation.
"W-well good sir, I thought I would just spend the day here, doing nothing but enjoying the fineness of this place."
She spoke with such a strange mixture of fulfillment and wistfulness that the man's curiosity was instantly piqued, and forced him to look up at her.
Such intensity of stare from a handsome fellow admittedly disarmed the young, slightly sheltered Sarah, though she chose not to show it, instead bearing a strong, almost unreadable expression.
I like it a lot, can't wait to read more!
interesting...hmm, I don't think the girl sounds very 'ordinary', though. She sounds like she's different then all the other people her age. I would change that, otherwise it's pretty good.
It sounds good so far....will be good to see how it turns out.