Title: in-progress

Summary: After an argument with her parents, Rhiannon heads for the local cemetery seeking peace of mindHowever, there she is harrassed and assaulted by two boys, and comes upon a secret that leads to an unexpected end. Where will the spiritlife take her?















~One~






29 December 2006

Behind the church was a small field, and beyond that field, a few acres of woodland. In the middle of these woods, in a nice, shady clearing, a cemetery, hence its name, Woodland. It was here I knew I needed to go.
My parents and I had gotten into an argument. I left, needing time out, and a place undisturbed. I chose the emptiest place of all: burial grounds. There was the occasional praying or mourning visitor, priest, or nun, but otherwise Woodland was nigh on lonely.

“I’ll be back in a couple of hours,” I told my parents. “I need to simmer down.”
December. Winter break. The trees were barren and the leaves scattered over dead grass. The icy air made my nose drip. Being there gave me solace, as I walked up and down the rows off headstones and monuments. I wondered, of all the departed people, how many went without saying goodbye, without making amends. The sum of their lives, spent so quickly. That I, too, would be here one day. Our argument was not worth it.
I walked some more, feeling better with my new resolve, letting the last vestiges of my stress fade.
“What’s up?”
I turned from the gravestone I had been reading. A boy, around seventeen or eighteen stood behind me.
“Uh….hi,” I said after a moment of hesitating. I’ve never been very good at responding to that particular greeting. He looked me up and down a few times, and I fidgeted uncomfortably, which he noticed, and laughed quietly.
“What’s your name, girl?”
“Rhiannon.”
“Jake.”
I gave him a courteous smile and tried not to mumble when I said, “Nice to meet you,” but I wasn’t at ease with his leer. I began to walk away from him, back towards the Church. He began walking with me.
“So, what are you doing?”
“Say what?”
“You, young girl, in a graveyard, at midday?” He raised his eyebrows. The last few words were rather harsh.
“Ah, that,” I shrugged, partly at his question, and partly as an attempt to wave off the edge of his manner. “I was merely thinking.”
“Thinking?”
I smiled. “Yeah, I guess. Listen, I need to go home.”
“Why rush?” Jake said, standing in front of me, blocking my path.
“Jake!” I turned to see another boy, running across the graveyard towards us. My belly clenched uneasily. “What do you have hear?” The boy said, surveying me.
“Rhiannon,” Jake pronounced my name slowly, as if savoring it.
This other boy sauntered around me with indolent grace, purposely bumping into me from behind. I glared at him. He tossed his head back, cackling.
“Easy, girl. Why the face?”
“See you,” I said briskly. I sidestepped Jake and began hurrying from them. I didn’t get but a few feet when Jake snatched my arm.
“Let go!” I screeched, swinging a leg at him.
It went straight through his crotch.

that was great, more please!

It was HERE I knew I needed to go.
My parents and I had gotten into an argument. I left, needing time out, and a place undisturbed. I chose the emptiest place of all: burial grounds. There was the occasional praying or mourning visitor, priest, or nun, but otherwise Woodland was HIGH on lonely.

capitalised the edits.

Thank you Gossipgirl! I'll post the next chapter shortly!

~Two~













“Aaaaaaggggghhhhhh!”

A hand was pressed viciously against my mouth.

“Shut up!” Jake hissed. They had dragged me behind an old tomb. Jake above my head, kneeling on my arms. His knees bore down upon my bones. The other boy, Miles I had learned, straddled my waist. It was hard to breath. Miles looked away from me towards the ground, and I saw his eyes glisten. He reached down and pulled up a huge spider. My eyes widened and a scream gurgled in my throat. Both boys tossed their heads back, cackling.

“Is Rhiannon an Arachnophobic?” Miles said mockingly. He dangled the spider above my face. Jake lowered his mouth to my ear. “It’s the least of your worries, trust me, my dear.”

Miles snickered. “Where shall we put this little guy? Hmmm….” His eyes wandered down to my breasts. Jake still held his hand against my mouth. I tried to shake my head, my eyes wide in horror, and tried pleading against his palm. Miles only laughed harder. I closed my eyes, feeling overwhelmed by dread.

“What is this?” A new voice. Masculine. I opened my eyes. An older man, around forty, stood a few feet to my left. Miles and Jake jumped off of me, dropping the spider. With my mouth now free, I screamed and frenetically started slapping at it, trying to get it off. Instantly, the man was crouched next to me.

“Okay, okay…it’s gone, now.” He said quietly. I stopped screaming, and laid there for a moment, panting. Tears streamed down my cheeks.

“What’s your name?” The man asked me, as I grew more collected.

“Rhiannon,” My voice sounded congested. I scrambled to my feet. The man stood, too. He placed a hand on my back, rubbing it gently.

“Are you all right?”

I took a deep, shaky breath and shook my head, no.

“What are you doing here?”

“Merely enjoying the quiescence of this place,” I shook my head, my heart beginning to pace again. “I-I didn’t mean to make a mess….I only…”

The man held his hand up to hush me. “All right, all right. Don’t upset yourself.” He turned his attention to the boys, but kept his hand on my shoulder. “And your motives?”

Jake merely shrugged. Although, he eyed the man jadedly. It made me wander if they spoke some how with the mind. It brought back the memory that Jake wasn’t normal, and that more than likely this man wasn’t normal, even if he had come to my rescue.

“So, no excuse? You simply felt like tormenting an innocent girl?” Neither answered. “I see,” He murmured, before turning back to me. “Rhiannon, I apologize. These boys….”

“Sir?” Jake broke in.

The man clenched his jowl, but turned to look at Jake, with an infuriated expression. “Yes, Jake?”

“She….can’t leave,”

“No,”

Jake sighed. “Look, she…she tried to kick me and….”

“Go,” The words were only just perceptible.

“Sir….”

“GO!” The man shouted. I recoiled from the ire in his voice. Both boys also looked stricken and then, they vanished.

i love this, very suspenseful! moreeee

Jake and Miles, two young men with bodies as real as mine, faded into nothingness. I stared at the place where they had stood in disbelief, with a rising itch to get away. I was afraid to look at the man beside me, afraid of seeing something in his eyes that I didn’t want to see. Trembling, I brought my gaze towards him. He, too, stared ahead of us, with dark eyes. I winced, realizing that the hold he had on my shoulder was strengthening painfully.
“Ow….”
He looked at me, and relaxed his hand, but didn’t take it off.
“I must go home,” I said uneasily. “My parents will be bothered.”
No reply. He gazed fixedly at me and I felt a devastating sense of dread.
“Please,” I moaned.
“I’m sorry.”
I shook my head violently. “No!”
The man stared at me a moment with deep, sad eyes. Without breaking the stare, he called, “Gabriel!”

“Yes?” Another young man materialized in front of us, gazing at me questionably.
“Gabriel, this is Rhiannon. Jake and Miles got a hold of her,” The man explained finally looking away from me. Gabriel stared at me, the same sadness in his eyes.
“Ah, I see,” He murmured.
“Take her into this tomb,” He said, pushing me a little towards Gabriel, who placed an arm behind my back.
“No,” I moaned tearfully, shaking my head. “Please….”
“Honey, go with Gabriel into the tomb.” He said in response to my panicked face. Gabriel moved his hand up over my shoulders and began to guide me towards the tomb. “No,” I sobbed. “I can’t believe it.”
He opened the door and gently pushed me inside. I darted to the other side of the room, to the single stain glass window. Behind me I heard Gabriel say, “We’ll be right out.” I glanced around the room. A statue of Mary stood in the corner of the room. Adrenaline barely let me cringe at the idea of smashing what was obviously a sacred object, but then it was in my hands and I was swinging it at the window. The window cracked, but didn’t quite shatter. Then, there were arms around my waist, lifting me off my feet, and away from my crude exit.
“No!” I screamed, dropping the statue in my alarm. “No! No! Fuck!”
I thrashed about in his arms, making as great an effort as I could to break away from him.
“Hey!” He said in my ear. “Calm down…please!”
He voice wasn’t….quite what I’d expected of my executioner. It was kind. I quit fighting him, still breathing arduously. He held me like that a moment longer, until I managed to pull myself together.
“There,” He whispered and let me go. At first, I stood there, stunned. Then, I scrambled away from him to a dusty corner, and pulled my knees up to me chest. I started breathing harshly again, trying to not hyperventilate.
“Please,” I whispered, struggling for breath. “Let me go. Let me go….home…to…to my m,” I paused, taking a deep breath. “My mother.”
“This isn’t your fault,” Gabriel said softly. “You get that, right?”
I shook my head warily, trying to hold onto my tears. “Please,” I said pathetically, my voice sounding all congested. “I wasn’t trying to make a mess. I was only walking.”
Gabriel quickly walked over to me, kneeling down. “I know, I know,” He said soothingly. “You were merely in the wrong place, at the wrong time. We’re not angry with you, but you’ve seen some things and we can’t let you go. That’s all.”
A choked out a sob. “I swear to God I won’t tell anybody. Just don’t kill me!” I couldn’t hold my tears in anymore. I started sobbing uncontrollably. Snot and tears and saliva. I choked and sputtered. Gabriel reached out and touched my cheek. Then, he opened his arms. “Come here,” He said, and I impulsively fell into them. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, rubbing his hands up and down my back. I sobbed against his shirt, which, it occurred to me, got soaked though….
He rocked me back and forth. I don’t know how long I cried, but I eventually stopped sobbing and shaking so hard and was only whimpering.









In the stillness and shade of the tomb, Gabriel spoke again. “I know that you’re afraid, Rhiannon. Death isn’t pleasant. I know that it isn’t fair.
“It may be small comfort to you, but afterwards, this graveyard will be like your home. You can visit with all the ancestors or friends you’ve ever wanted to visit anywhere who’ve gone before, and you’ll be quite free to watch over your loved ones….” He paused. I was still weeping softly against his shirt. “Okay?”
I closed my eyes, and nodded. I had no more energy left to fight. Gabriel kissed the top of my head. Then, he pushed me into a sitting position in front of him.
“Rhiannon, I want you to close your eyes.”
I didn’t. My breath caught and I felt the panic rising again.
“Trust me, Rhiannon. Your death will be swift and completely painless. You won’t even have to look at the instrument. So, close your eyes,” He whispered. My eyelids closed.
“And open your mouth.”
I did. Cool steel slid into my mouth.






A/N:
Gossip girl, thanks a lot for reviewing my story so far and I’m glad you’ve found it interesting. I’m trying to update every three days. I hope you continue to review, and of course, I look forward to your criticism and any notes on how to make this story even better.
*Blows kiss*
~September

Aw thanks, I love reviewing people's work, plus it's quite dead around here, so if anybody's gonna do, it might as well be me!

Anyhoo, here are the edits:


“No,” I moaned tearfully, shaking my head. “Please….”

You already used moaned a couple lines back, try using a different verb.


“Let me go. Let me go….home…to…to my m-,” I paused, taking a deep breath. “My mother.”

I just added the little hyphen.


A choked out a sob. “I swear to God I won’t tell anybody. Just don’t kill me!” I couldn’t hold my tears in anymore. I started sobbing uncontrollably. Snot and tears and saliva. I choked and sputtered. Gabriel reached out and touched my cheek. Then, he opened his arms. “Come here,” He said, and I impulsively fell into them. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, rubbing his hands up and down my back. I sobbed against his shirt, which, it occurred to me, got soaked though….
He rocked me back and forth. I don’t know how long I cried, but I eventually stopped sobbing and shaking so hard and was only whimpering.

You used "sob" like four times. Try weeping or something, or maybe omitting it and just saying stuff like "My eyes dripped with water" <-- though preferably something better lol!


Yup, that's it for the edits... I await more!

Gabriel was lying my body down carefully when I came to, hovering behind him. He put the gun on safety, slipped it into the back of his jeans, and turned to me.
“Are you…all right?” He asked. “Did it hurt?”
“No,” I said in a delicate, ghostly whisper. I was trying not to break down in front of him.
He nodded, then, and began to fade from view, knowing my desire to be alone. When he was gone, the tomb felt very cool, very dark, even more so because I was alone. The statue of Mary lay on the floor. The head was a few inches away, shattered. Gore was smeared all over the brick corner where I had been curled up in. Finally, I took in my body. The eyes were open, the mouth seemed disfigured from the blow, and blood oozed from the back of the head, the nose, and the mouth. It was me. The same lips that had kissed my mother goodnight with. The same face that I had applied makeup to. Yet, it wasn’t me, for there I was. The me that had felt, loved. And I felt the emotion, and I knew I was going to fly into a rage.
I materialized, crouching next to my body. I didn’t know I could, but when I did, I looked the same, I even wore the same clothes. I reached out and touched the dead face with the back of my hand. Still warm. I moved my hand up and lovingly shut her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” I said. I felt this strange need to apologize. So, I bent over her, stroking her forehead, and smiled bitterly. Tears tingled my eyes. I closed them, squeezing them out. When I opened my eyes, the jewels glistening on her skin. I pressed my lips to her hair and was met with warm moisture. Pulling away, I found my hand and lips to me smeared with blood and I reeled away from my body, vigorously trying to clean it off of me. I stopped then, realizing the fear of blood and death didn’t exist in me anymore. If truth be told, having my own blood on me was consoling. I bent over her again and started rubbing my whole face against her hair, inhaling the scent, covering every inch of my face. Finally, I cupped my hands beneath the gaping hole in the back of her head, and collected a bunch of blood in my hands and with it scrubbed my hair and my face. I don’t know how long I did this, but eventually, I thrust myself away with a screech.
For a moment I didn’t move, but half lay there, legs sprawled out in front of me. Then, I let my head drop back and stared blindly at the ceiling. I smelled something. My head snapped back up. My eyes scanned over my body. Slowly, I inhaled again, and detected a vague smell. My body was beginning to rot.
A giggle escaped my lips, and I clamped my hand over my mouth. What was wrong with me? Another whiff of death, and I giggled again. I couldn’t help myself. I collapsed on the floor, holding my stomach, my shoulders shaking as I cackled. My laugh echoed all around the room, better described as a manic screech than a laugh. And the smell grew stronger as I continued my wild chortle. And my laughing ceased in one go. I sat up and then crawled a few inches closer to my body.
“It’s rotting,” I whispered. Then, “O my God!” I screamed. “Oh God…..I’m rotting!” I cried dry sobs, and beat my hands against the floor. I lost it then.

I stood up, screaming, pulling out handfuls of hair. I picked up the remainder of the Mary statue and smashed it against the brick wall. My voice never became raucous. My squeals continued throughout the entire night.

6:00 A.M. I had remembered the watch on my body’s wrist. I sat in the corner, staring warily at her. I’d sat like that at least an hour. At some point, I had simply collapsed, and curled up in the corner, and for the longest time, cried. A few more screams came every now and then. Eventually, I stopped crying, and screaming, and sat there, growing more still as the minutes ticked by. The room smelled horrible by now, though I paid it no more mind.
Gabriel appeared then. He stared at me for a moment. “Go away,” I whispered.
“I came to move your body,” He said.
My eyes shot open. “No!”
Gabriel sighed. “I’m not taking it from you. I’m just moving it out of this tomb. Someone needs to find it, so they can take it to the morgue.”
“They can’t take her from me!” I screeched.
“You’ll get it back, but they’ll do an autopsy, most likely. They need to clean it and bury it. Or cremate it. You can, of course, follow after it. Or you can stay here. Either way, it must be found. Your parents will be worried.”
My parents. It was the first time I’d thought of them. I glowered at Gabriel as his words sank in. His eyes roamed up and down my form.
“Stop it!” I said icily. I’m sure he thought I looked like a savage. I was a savage. I was an insane spirit, a rancorous banshee. I smirked, knowing his impression of me.
I watched him awkwardly, and cautiously pick up my body. He carried it outside of the tomb and set it on the grass, just next to the path, where someone would unquestionably see it. Then he turned back to me. After appraising me one last time he said, “I’ll leave you now.”
I sighed in relief. I looked down at my stiff, stinking body. I sank sinuously to the floor beside her. I began to lovingly fix her hair. Well, I tried to fix it by combing my fingers through the gummy tresses. She looked nothing like the way she had used to.
At some point my head ended up against the wall of the tomb. I continued to idly finger her hair and hum an old lullaby. The sun had risen, and cast a warm, rosy glow over the cemetery. I brought my blood-caked hand up to inspect my fingernails, still humming to myself.
Footsteps….suddenly I heard them coming up the path. An old man appeared a few feet away. Mr. Sanders….devoted member of our church. I knew he was the sacristy, and often he came to inspect the graves, to pray. He froze and covered his mouth. He looked as if he were dry heaving, and Mr. Sanders, the sometimes Santa Claus for the children at Midnight Mass, Mr. Sanders with his bright, “God bless you,” tore screaming back down the path.
I stared after him, feeling the panic rising within me. Not only had I seen a side of a dear friend that I’d never seen before, one that dazed me completely, but also, I realized that very shortly, the graveyard would be overwhelmingly chaotic, swamped with the police and probably gaping onlookers. And as much as I dreaded that, I knew they would have to remove my body. I tried to calm myself down, I tried to convince myself that this is what my body needed.
I couldn’t very well let my body rot here. That would be wrong. The least I could do was allow her to be given a coffin to lie in and have the blood cleaned off of her. With these thoughts in my mind, I awaited the inevitable.

this is an INCREDIBLE STORY.

it's sooo moving and very... 3 dimensional for lack of a better word.

My voice never became raucous.

^ that sentence doesn't quite seem to fit in though.

but really, outstanding work!

This is really good!!!