Hey, Thanks for reading this. I really need people to review this because it's for school and my teacher grades hard. Also if you see any erros just tell me. Is it good or bad?

Eighth Grade: Term One
(**This is based on a true story. Names were changed along with physical characteristics.**)

Christine: I was glad when school started. I missed my friends and was bored. My friends had changed so much over the summer, some their personalities others their attitudes. The year to remember: eighth grade, our last year in middle school and our last year of just being Southborough. So many problems, drama and situations were sure to come but I never expected so many. This is my story of what happened in term one.
My mom would tell me that someday my friends were bound to change and we might not be able to be friends anymore. I never believed her but in this term it almost became a reality.
After the first couple of weeks of school were under our belts, trouble started brewing in our “sporty, semi-popular” group. It seemed as if my friends had been transformed over the summer. I noticed that even though Alicia and I were close last year, we seemed to be growing apart. We were not in any of each others’ classes and didn’t sit next to each other at the lunch table anymore. I realized that Colleen, Holly and I were growing much closer. We all edited each others’ work and hung out together. All of us seemed to be everywhere together, almost as if we were attached at the hip.
There seemed to be other problems going on besides mine. While Alicia and Julie grew closer, Julie seemed to be drifting away from Katie. This resulted in major drama because Katie loved and had to control everything. She was attached to Julie. As I remember, it all started when Julie chose Alicia to be her lab partner in science class. It ended up that the lab group consisted of Julie, Alicia, Katie and Jessica. To my dismay, Katie would never forgive Alicia for taking “her” spot. Alicia didn’t know she hurt Katie and wanted to be partners with Julie.
Later on in the term, when ever Julie sided with Alicia, Katie would be angry and upset. I remember it got so bad one time that Katie left her group and started talking about Julie and Alicia behind their backs. Alicia and Julie, for the first time, got mad at Katie. They couldn’t understand why she had to be so controlling. Katie would act like she was fine around Julie but be bitchy to Alicia. Alicia was annoyed with all the “girly girl” drama. Katie is still acting how she did the first semester to both of them. I am glad that Katie and Julie do not sit next to each other.
To me, the first situation was not important. The whole first semester, I was worried about Olivia and Alicia. Alicia for another reason than I already said. I am always worried about Alicia because she is so quiet and scared to say something that she may get lost. Olivia and Alicia have equaled best friends forever. The two are exact opposites. The loud, brave girl who isn’t afraid to say anything describes Olivia. Likewise, the quiet, soft spoken girl who will not open up at all describes Alicia. They still have stayed best friends but they both seem to be drifting from the group. The both didn’t talk much at lunch. During recess they would just end up talking to each other. Olivia and Alicia seemed to share a secret language. They knew when the other was sick or hurt. The hardest one to get back would be Alicia, so that’s where I started. I tried to help but she ended up getting more annoyed.
I really noticed the difference when Ashley, Colleen, Holly and I started to leave our study. I insisted that Alicia come along but she refused. I felt bad about it but the others stopped asking. I’d see Alicia in Mr. Gomes’ room all alone and feel for her. I didn’t know how to help her. She seemed to be suffering from us but I refused to let her go. Alicia needed her feelings poured out like last year.

Alicia: I dreaded returning to school. Not because I didn’t receive good grades, I was a straight A student, but because last year was not fun. Last year, seventh grade, was a complete disaster for me. Nothing went right. Hardly any of my friends were in my classes and I definitely had to have the worst teachers. I received Mrs. Derley and Mrs. Higgins. All my secrets were opened up last year to Christine and Ms. Bentz. I was determined not to let it happen again.
Eighth grade started off much better for me. All my core classes were with Erin and all my specials were with Colleen and Holly. Even though we received Mrs. Derley, Colleen did not get along with her either.
As I look back on it now, I messed everything up. Christine and I were like peanut butter and jelly last year and this year more like peanut butter and cheese. I was confused at the beginning of the year and got annoyed with Christine a lot. Sometimes I didn’t realize that Christine was trying to help. Christine and I were too different. Christine and my problems were bad but not as bad as mine and Julie’s.
It all started in science class when Mrs. Murphy told us to get with a partner. I looked around and saw that Erin and Sam were together along with Emily and Noelle. So, Julie asked me to be her partner. I had not been in many of Julie’s classes and she was fun to be around. I didn’t even know Katie was in our class. I never like Katie much but went along with her because everyone else did. I hated to rock the boat. Katie’s strong and opinionated personality was difficult to deal with. Katie ended up being in our lab group along with Jess. Every time we did experiments Katie would act like she knew everything and leave us out. The funny thing happened to be that I was good at science and she was not. Fighting or trying to help Katie was not an option. I didn’t want to get in a fight with her so I left her alone. Jess who’s personality is strong tried to fight with Katie. Katie was livid.
One day, when Julie and I started an experiment she left and went to another group because we were not including her. Katie started to talk about us behind our backs in class. Julie was upset but I told her that she should not care. Katie is still bitchy to me but I do not care. This was not my big problem.
My problem started in Mr. Gomes’ study. Holly, Ashley, Colleen and Christine would all leave his study to talk. The first couple of times they all invited me but I declined. I needed to get my work done because of sports and I didn’t think it was morally right to leave a study to talk. Yeah, I know talk about a priss. Christine ended up being the only one who would ask me but I declined. I think Colleen was upset at me. It seemed to me that she though I was being rude. I felt bad for not going but also mad at them. They had to leave me? It didn’t make sense to me.
Nothing made sense to Olivia and me anymore. We had been tight since ever. We knew when the other was sad or hurt or annoyed. We hated change. At lunch, there were changes everywhere. It really upset me because I wanted to live my old, sixth grade life. I did not want to move on because I was scared. Since I was quiet, I just thought about this all the time. I missed it.
I realized most of my friends had grown away from me and I was confused. Where did I belong? Confusion hurt me so much that first term. I had no idea what was going on. Since last years confrontation with Ms. Bentz and Christine I had been scared out of my mind. I was afraid of opening up to my teachers and my friends. What if that happened to me again? So many questions swam through my temples at night but none of them solved.

Eighth Grade: Term One[/red]


[center]Christine:
-----I was glad when school started. I missed my friends and was bored. My friends had changed so much over the summer, some their personalities, others their attitudes. The year to remember: eighth grade, our last year in middle school, and our last year of just being Southborough. deleted soMany problems, drama, and situations were sure to come, but I never expected so many. This is my story of what happened in term one.
My mom would tell me that someday my friends were bound to change and we might not be able to be friends anymore. I never believed her, but in this term it almost became a reality.
After the first couple of weeks of school were under our belts, trouble started brewing in our “sporty, semi-popular” group. It seemed as if my friends had been transformed over the summer. I noticed that even though Alicia and I were close last year, we seemed to be growing apart. We were not in any of each others’ classes and didn’t sit next to each other at the lunch table anymore. I realized that Colleen, Holly and I were growing much closer. We all edited each others’ work and hung out together. All of us seemed to be everywhere together, almost as if we were attached at the hip.
There seemed to be other problems going on besides mine. While Alicia and Julie grew closer, Julie seemed to be drifting away from Katie. This resulted in major drama because Katie loved and had to control everything. doesn't make sense, maybe say Katie loved/had to control everything She was attached to Julie. As I remember, it all started when Julie chose Alicia to be her lab partner in science class. It ended up that the lab group consisted of Julie, Alicia, Katie and Jessica. To my dismay, Katie would never forgive Alicia for taking “her” spot. Alicia didn’t know she hurt Katie and wanted to be partners with Julie.
Later on in the term, whenever deleted space between when/ever Julie sided with Alicia, Katie would be angry and upset. I remember it got so bad one time that Katie left her group and started talking about Julie and Alicia behind their backs. Alicia and Julie, for the first time, got mad at Katie. They couldn’t understand why she had to be so controlling. Katie would act like she was fine around Julie but be bitchy to Alicia. Alicia was annoyed with all the “girly girl” drama. Katie is still acting how she did the first semester to both of them. I am glad that Katie and Julie do not sit next to each other.
To me, the first situation was not important. The whole first semester, I was worried about Olivia and Alicia. Alicia for another reason than I already said. I am always worried about Alicia because she is so quiet and scared to say something that she may get lost. Olivia and Alicia have equaled best friends forever. The two are exact opposites. The loud, brave girl who isn’t afraid to say anything describes Olivia. Likewise, the quiet, soft spoken girl who will not open up at all describes Alicia. They still have stayed best friends but they both seem to be drifting from the group. They both didn’t talk much at lunch. During recess they would just end up talking to each other. Olivia and Alicia seemed to share a secret language. They knew when the other was sick or hurt. The hardest one to get back would be Alicia, so that’s where I started. I tried to help but she ended up getting more annoyed.
I really noticed the difference when Ashley, Colleen, Holly and I started to leave our study. I insisted that Alicia come along but she refused. I felt bad about it but the others stopped asking. I’d see Alicia in Mr. Gomes’ room all alone and feel for her. I didn’t know how to help her. She seemed to be suffering from us but I refused to let her go. Alicia needed her feelings poured out like last year.

Alicia:
I dreaded returning to school. Not because I didn’t receive good grades, I was a straight A student, but because last year was not fun. Last year, seventh grade, was a complete disaster for me. Nothing went right. Hardly any of my friends were in my classes and I definitely had deleted 'to have'the worst teachers. I received Mrs. Derley and Mrs. Higgins. All my secrets were opened up last year to Christine and Ms. Bentz. I was determined not to let it happen again.
Eighth grade started off much better for me. All my core classes were with Erin and all my specials were with Colleen and Holly. Even though we received Mrs. Derley, Colleen did not get along with her either.
As I look back on it now, I messed everything up. Christine and I were like peanut butter and jelly last year and this year more like peanut butter and cheese. I was confused at the beginning of the year and got annoyed with Christine a lot. Sometimes I didn’t realize that Christine was trying to help. Christine and I were too different. Christine and my problems were bad but not as bad as mine and Julie’s.
It all started in science class when Mrs. Murphy told us to get with a partner. I looked around and saw that Erin and Sam were together along with Emily and Noelle. So, Julie asked me to be her partner. I had not been in many of Julie’s classes and she was fun to be around. I didn’t even know Katie was in our class. I never like Katie much but went along with her because everyone else did. I hated to rock the boat. Katie’s strong and opinionated personality was difficult to deal with. Katie ended up being in our lab group along with Jess. Every time we did experiments Katie would act like she knew everything and leave us out. The funny thing happened to be that I was good at science and she was not. Fighting or trying to help Katie was not an option. I didn’t want to get in a fight with her so I left her alone. Jess who’s personality is strong tried to fight with Katie. Katie was livid.
One day, when Julie and I started an experiment she left and went to another group because we were not including her. Katie started to talk about us behind our backs in class. Julie was upset but I told her that she should not care. Katie is still bitchy to me but I do not care. This was not my big problem.
My problem started in Mr. Gomes’ study. Holly, Ashley, Colleen and Christine would all leave his study to talk. The first couple of times they all invited me but I declined. I needed to get my work done because of sports and I didn’t think it was morally right to leave a study to talk. Yeah, I know talk about a priss. Christine ended up being the only one who would ask me but I declined. I think Colleen was upset at me. It seemed to me that she though I was being rude. I felt bad for not going but also mad at them. They had to leave me? It didn’t make sense to me.
Nothing made sense to Olivia and me anymore. We had been tight since ever. We knew when the other was sad or hurt or annoyed. We hated change. At lunch, there were changes everywhere. It really upset me because I wanted to live my old, sixth grade life. I did not want to move on because I was scared. Since I was quiet, I just thought about this all the time. I missed it.
I realized most of my friends had grown away from me and I was confused. Where did I belong? Confusion hurt me so much that first term. I had no idea what was going on. Since last years confrontation with Ms. Bentz and Christine I had been scared out of my mind. I was afraid of opening up to my teachers and my friends. What if that happened to me again? So many questions swam through my temples at night but none of them solved.


I put my edits in bold

I think it's pretty good, but you need to add more explanation. More about the teachers, about the other girls besides Christine and Alicia, etc. It's got a very good plot, but definently add more explanation/description. And will there be more?

There will definitely be more. THANKS SO MUCH for editing this. I really needed someone to edit it. Iwill come out with the updated version soon. You may need to wait a little bit for my other one though. I'll try.

Oh good, I like it! It was really no problem to edit it, I actually like critiquing people's work.

Here's the updated version.The tabs didn;t waork and neither did the centers on this forum sry.

Eighth Grade: Term One
The Secrets Behind Eighth Grade
(**This is based on a true story. Names were changed along with physical characteristics.**)

Christine:
I was glad when school started. I missed my friends and was bored. My friends had changed so much over the summer, some their personalities others their attitudes. The year to remember: eighth grade, our last year in middle school and our last year of just Southborough kids. Many problems, drama and situations were sure to come but I never expected so many. This is my story of what happened in term one.
My mom would tell me that someday my friends were bound to change and we might not be able to be friends anymore. I never believed her but in this term it almost became a reality.
After the first couple of weeks of school were under our belts, trouble started brewing in our “sporty, semi-popular” group. It seemed as if my friends had been transformed over the summer. I noticed that even though Alicia and I were close last year, we seemed to be growing apart. We were not in any of each others’ classes and didn’t sit next to each other at the lunch table anymore. I realized that Colleen, Holly and I were growing much closer. Colleen and Holly had been close since third grade. We edited each others’ work and hung out together. All of us seemed to be everywhere together, almost as if we were attached at the hip.
All my friends were amazing. We all loved sports. Our group was divided in two, one group consisting of Olivia, Alicia, Colleen, Erin, Holly and me and the other group consisting of Noelle, Emily and Katie. Julie, Annie and Ashley were in both groups. Sam hung out with other people but was close to Erin and me. Olivia’s personality includes competitiveness and strength. Annie is the same but less competitive. Like them, Katie’s personality includes strength but bossiness too. The girl who doesn’t care what others think would have to be Noelle. Noelle’s personality includes a lot of craziness and carefree fun. The kids that are the most easygoing would have to be Erin and Emily. It is hard not to like them. Ashley’s personality consists of kindness and intelligence. She thinks through every decision. Colleen personality’s includes competitiveness and the ability to be right. She needs to be right all the time. The funniest and most carefree girl would have to be Holly. These personality traits all describe my friends. Now back to the story.
There seemed to be other problems going on besides mine. Julie and Alicia started to grow closer at town soccer because they were on the field together and played together. While Alicia and Julie grew closer, Julie seemed to be drifting away from Katie. This resulted in major drama because Katie had to control everything. She was attached to Julie. As I remember, it all started when Julie chose Alicia to be her lab partner in science class. It ended up that the lab group consisted of Julie, Alicia, Katie and Jessica. To my dismay, Katie would never forgive Alicia for taking “her” spot. Alicia didn’t know she hurt Katie and wanted to be partners with Julie.
Later on in the term, whenever Julie sided with Alicia, Katie would be angry and upset. I remember it got so bad one time that Katie left her group and started talking about Julie and Alicia behind their backs. Alicia and Julie, for the first time, got mad at Katie. They couldn’t understand why she had to be so controlling. Katie would act like she was fine around Julie but be bitchy to Alicia. Alicia was annoyed with all the “girly girl” drama. Katie is still acting how she did the first semester to both of them. I am glad that Katie and Julie do not sit next to each other.
To me, the first situation was not important. The whole first semester, I was worried about Olivia and Alicia. Alicia for another reason than I already said. I am always worried about Alicia because she is so quiet and scared to say something that she may get lost. Olivia and Alicia have equaled best friends forever. The two are exact opposites. The loud, brave girl who isn’t afraid to say anything describes Olivia. Likewise, the quiet, soft spoken girl who will not open up at all describes Alicia. They still have stayed best friends but they both seem to be drifting from the group. They both didn’t talk much at lunch. During recess they would just end up talking to each other. Olivia and Alicia seemed to share a secret language. They knew when the other was sick or hurt. The hardest one to get back would be Alicia, so that’s where I started. I tried to help but she ended up getting more annoyed.
I really noticed the difference when Ashley, Colleen, Holly and I started to leave our study. I insisted that Alicia come along but she refused. I felt bad about it but the others stopped asking. I’d see Alicia in Mr. Gomes’ room all alone and feel for her. I didn’t know how to help her. She seemed to be suffering from us but I refused to let her go. Alicia needed her feelings poured out like last year.

Alicia:
I dreaded returning to school. Not because I didn’t receive good grades, I was a straight A student, but because last year was not fun. Last year, seventh grade, was a complete disaster for me. Nothing went right. Very few of my friends were in my classes and I acquired some of the worst teachers. I received Mrs. Derley and Mrs. Wiggly. The hardest teacher in seventh grade had to be Mrs. Wiggly. No one understood her teachings. Mrs. Derley hated me from sixth grade. She liked to take her anger out on me. I was blamed for things I did not do. All my secrets were opened up last year to Christine and Ms. Bentz. The best sixth grade teacher I received had to be Ms. Bentz. Ms. Bentz personality included kindness, care and fun. I was determined not to let it happen again.
Eighth grade started off much better for me. All my core classes were with Erin and all my specials were with Colleen and Holly. Even though we received Mrs. Derley, Colleen did not get along with her either.
As I look back on it now, I messed everything up. Christine and I were like peanut butter and jelly last year and this year more like peanut butter and cheese. I was confused at the beginning of the year and got annoyed with Christine a lot. Sometimes I didn’t realize that Christine was trying to help. Christine and I were different. Christine and my problems were bad but not as bad as mine and Julie’s.
It all started in science class when Mrs. Murphy told us to get with a partner. I looked around and saw that Erin and Sam were together along with Emily and Noelle. So, Julie asked me to be her partner. I had not been in many of Julie’s classes and she was fun to be around. I didn’t even know Katie was in our class. I never like Katie much but went along with her because everyone else did. I hated to rock the boat. Katie’s strong and opinionated personality was difficult to deal with. Katie ended up being in our lab group along with Jess. Every time we did experiments Katie would act like she knew everything and leave us out. The funny thing happened to be that I was good at science and she was not. Fighting or trying to help Katie was not an option. I didn’t want to get in a fight with her so I left her alone. Jess who’s personality is strong tried to fight with Katie. Katie was livid.
One day, when Julie and I started an experiment she left and went to another group because we were not including her. Katie started to talk about us behind our backs in class. Julie was upset but I told her that she should not care. Katie is still bitchy to me but I do not care. This was not my big problem.
My problem started in Mr. Gomes’ study. Holly, Ashley, Colleen and Christine would leave his study to talk. The first couple of times they all invited me but I declined. I needed to get my work done because of sports and I didn’t think it was morally right to leave a study to talk. Yeah, I know talk about a priss. Christine ended up being the only one who would ask me but I declined. I think Colleen was upset at me. It seemed to me that she though I was being rude. I felt bad for not going but also mad at them. They had to leave me? It didn’t make sense to me.
Nothing made sense to Olivia and me anymore. We had been tight since fifth grade. We knew when the other was sad or hurt or annoyed. We hated change. At lunch, there were changes everywhere. It really upset me because I wanted to live my old, sixth grade life. I did not want to move on because I was scared. Since I was quiet, I just thought about this all the time. I missed it.
I realized most of my friends had grown away from me and I was confused. Where did I belong? Confusion hurt me so much that first term. I had no idea what was going on. Since last years confrontation with Ms. Bentz and Christine I have been scared out of my mind. I was afraid of opening up to my teachers and my friends. What if that happened to me again? So many questions swam through my temples at night but none of them could be solved.

sorry i reallly waned to reply to this on the day that you sent it in, but i was sooo busy tht i couldn't.

here it is, i'm sorry i cant bold it or anything, my computer doesn't allow it, you just have to read through.

Christine:
I was glad when school started. I missed my friends and was bored. They had changed so much over the summer, some their personalities, others their attitudes. The year to remember: eighth grade, our last year in middle school and our last year of just Southborough kids. Many problems, situations and drama was sure to come but I never expected this (you should try using italic for the "this") much. This is my story of what happened in term one.

My mom would often tell me that someday my friends were bound to change and that we might not be able to be close, or even friends anymore. Previously, I had never believed her but in this term it almost became a reality.

With the first few weeks of school under our belts, trouble started brewing in our “sporty, semi-popular” group. It seemed as if my friends had been transformed over the summer. I noticed that even though Alicia and I were close last year, we seemed to be growing apart. We were not in any of each others’ classes and no longer sat next to each other at the lunch table. I also realized that Colleen, Holly and I were growing much closer. Colleen and Holly had been close since third grade, but now that included me. We edited each others’ work and hung out together. We seemed to be everywhere together, almost as if we were attached at the hip.

All my friends were amazing. We all had common ground; specifically sports, as I mentioned earlier. Our group was divided in two, one group consisting of Olivia, Alicia, Colleen, Erin, Holly and me, with the other group consisting of Noelle, Emily and Katie. Julie, Annie and Ashley were in both groups. Sam hung out with other people but was close to Erin and me. Olivia’s personality included competitiveness and strength. Annie is the same but less competitive. Like them, Katie’s personality includes strength but bossiness too. The girl who doesn’t care what others think would have to be Noelle. Noelle’s personality includes a lot of craziness and fun. The kids that are the most easygoing would have to be Erin and Emily. It is hard not to like them. Ashley’s personality consists of kindness and intelligence. She thinks through every decision. Colleen personality’s includes competitiveness like Olivia and Annie, as well as the need to be right all the time. She needs to be right all the time. The funniest and most carefree girl would have to be Holly. These are the personalities of my friends. Now back to the story.

* i think you shouldn't really included the whole paragraph above, it's confusing and distracting. It's also rather irrelevant to the rest of the story, but it's your choice. I edited it best I could. *

However, there seemed to be other problems going on besides mine. Julie and Alicia started to grow closer during town soccer because they were on the field together and played together. In the meantime, Julie seemed to be drifting away from Katie. This resulted in major drama because Katie had to control everything as well as being truly attached to Julie. I recall that it all started when Julie chose Alicia to be her lab partner in science class. It ended up that the lab group consisted of Julie, Alicia, Katie and Jessica. To my dismay, Katie would never forgive Alicia for taking “her” spot. Alicia didn’t know she hurt Katie and wanted to be partners with Julie.
Later on in the term, whenever Julie sided with Alicia, Katie would be angry and upset. I remember it got so bad one time that Katie left her group and started talking about Julie and Alicia behind their backs. Alicia and Julie, for the first time, got mad at Katie. They couldn’t understand why she had to be so controlling. Katie would act like she was fine around Julie but be bitchy to Alicia. Alicia was annoyed with all the “catty girlfight” (girly girl isn't right for the context) situation (try not to use the same word too many times). Katie is still acting how she did the first semester to both of them.

To me, the first situation was not as important as the one I had on my mind. The whole first semester, I was worried about Olivia and Alicia. Alicia for another reason than I already said. I am always worried about Alicia because she is so quiet and scared to say something that she may get lost (lost? this doesn't make any sense, so i can't edit it). Olivia and Alicia have equaled best friends forever. The two are exact opposites. The loud, brave girl who isn’t afraid to say anything describes Olivia. Likewise, the soft-spoken girl who will not open up at all is Alicia to a T. They have stayed best friends but they both seem to be drifting from the group. They both didn’t talk much at lunch. During recess they would just end up talking to each other. Olivia and Alicia seemed to share a secret language. They knew when the other was sick or hurt. The hardest one to get back would be Alicia, so that’s where I started. I tried to help but she ended up getting annoyed.

I really noticed the difference when Ashley, Colleen, Holly and I started to leave our study group. I insisted that Alicia come along but she refused. I felt bad about it but the others stopped asking. I’d see Alicia in Mr. Gomes’ room all alone and feel for her. I didn’t know how to help her. She seemed to be suffering due to us but I refused to let her go. Alicia needed her feelings poured out like last year.

Alicia:
I dreaded returning to school. Not because I didn’t receive good grades, I was a straight A student, but last year was not fun. Seventh grade was a complete disaster for me. Nothing went right. Very few of my friends were in my classes and I acquired some of the worst teachers, Mrs. Derley and Mrs. Wiggly. The hardest teacher in the level had to be Mrs. Wiggly. No one understood what she taught. Mrs. Derley had hated me since sixth grade and often liked to take her anger out on me, frequently blaming me for things I did not do.

All my secrets were opened up last year to Christine and Ms. Bentz. The best sixth grade teacher I received had to be Ms. Bentz. Ms. Bentz was humourous and sweet natured, with all the qualities a teacher should have (stop doing the whole "her personality includes" because it will show a lack of vocabulary). I was determined not to let it happen again.

Eighth grade started off much better for me. All my core classes were with Erin and all my specials were with Colleen and Holly. Even though we received Mrs. Derley, Colleen did not get along with her either.
As I look back on it now, I messed everything up. Christine and I were like peanut butter and jelly last year and this year more like peanut butter and cheese. I was confused at the beginning of the year and got annoyed with her a lot. Sometimes I didn’t realize that Christine was trying to help. Christine and I were different. Christine and my problems were bad but not as bad as mine and Julie’s.

It all started in science class when Mrs. Murphy told us to get with a partner. I looked around and saw that Erin and Sam were together along with Emily and Noelle. So, Julie asked me to be her partner. I had not been in many of Julie’s classes and she was fun to be around. I didn’t even know Katie was in our class. I had never liked Katie much but went along with her because everyone else did. I hated to rock the boat, even though Katie’s strong and opinionated personality was difficult to deal with. Katie ended up being in our lab group along with Jess (who is jess? why include another person? there are already too many characters, you should get rid of at least five). Every time we did experiments Katie would act like she knew everything and leave us out. The funny thing happened to be that I was good at science and she was not. Fighting or trying to help Katie were not options. I didn’t want to get in a fight with her so I left her alone. Jess who is strong-minded by nature, tried to fight with Katie, so she was livid.
One day, when Julie and I started an experiment she left and went to another group because we were not including her. Katie started to talk about us behind our backs in class. Julie was upset but I told her that she should not care. Katie is still bitchy to me but I do not care. This was not my problem.

My main problem started in Mr. Gomes’ study (do you mean study grup or study? why would teacher have a private study tht everyone can go to?). Holly, Ashley, Colleen and Christine would leave his study to talk. The first couple of times they all invited me but I declined. I needed to get my work done because of sports and I didn’t think it was morally right to leave a study to talk. Yeah, I know I'm a priss. Christine ended up being the only one who would ask me but I declined. I think Colleen was upset at me. It seemed to me that she though I was being rude. I felt bad for not going but also mad at them. They had to leave me? It didn’t make sense to me.
Nothing made sense to Olivia and me anymore. We had been tight since fifth grade. We knew when the other was sad or hurt or annoyed. We hated change. At lunch, there were changes everywhere. It really upset me because I wanted to live my old, sixth grade life. I did not want to move on because I was scared. Since I was quiet, I just thought about this all the time. I missed it.

I realized most of my friends had grown away from me and I was confused. Where did I belong? Confusion hurt me so much that first term. I had no idea what was going on. Since last years confrontation with Ms. Bentz and Christine I have been scared out of my mind. I was afraid of opening up to my teachers and my friends. What if that happened to me again? So many questions swam through my temples at night but none of them could be solved.


My notes: Okay, like I said, there are too many characters. It's an interesting storyline, but it has too many plots that are not complicated, yet are written about in a complicated way. Your sentences are too short and language is about flow, not just giving us the straight facts. Also, for the characters, don't just say "her personality includes blahblahblah" make them DO things that show this trait.