You've captured my heart,
In the palm of your hand,
I love you so much,
That its hard to stand,
An innocent crush,
That will turn me to mush,
At the very thought of your smile,
Then I stand and think for a while,
You've captured my heart,
In the palm of your hand,
I love you so much,
That its hard to stand....
I really hope you guys like it, please help any comments on how to get it better? Is it ok?

its...too cute.

wayy too hallmarky, lol.

nnocent crush,
That will turn me to mush,

change that line to somehting more original,

and itll be loads better.

keep

practising.

I kind of liked it but it was a bit short and didn't go into as much detail about the love as it deserved. i think u need a new word to rhyme with "smile" coz it neva goes with while......