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Young Writers Club > Poetry & Song Writing > Let's Talk About You



Title: Let's Talk About You
Description: PG?


spiderfall - July 26, 2006 01:44 AM (GMT)
You fall because you never flew,
You forget because you never knew,
You stumble and you fall,
You begin to whimper,
And then to bawl,
And all I can do is stare.

You crawl becaused you never walked,
You scream because you wouldn't talk,
You whimper and you tremble,
You make fun of love,
You think it's that simple,
And all I can do is love.

You follow because you couldn't lead,
You whisper because you don't want to scream,
You hit and then you run,
You laugh, you think that's fun,
But I laughed to finally see you smile.

You are the curtain, the black sheep,
The bad news, and the repeat,
But I love you.

I love you because I never hate,
I stay because I won't wait,
I stumble and I fall,
But you catch me,
And that makes all
The difference.

gossipgirl - July 28, 2006 06:55 AM (GMT)
nice rhyming, pretty good rhythm., though the timing felt a teensy bit off in places.

And that makes all the difference.

^ i think it should be like:

And that makes all
The difference.

flows better that way i think.

spiderfall - July 28, 2006 07:23 PM (GMT)
Thanks, Marie, I'll change it.

Maya010 - July 31, 2006 09:50 PM (GMT)
I loved this peom, it seems as if truth was all over this poem. I don't know what inspiration you had that helped you to write this, but I loved it. It was great!

spiderfall - August 3, 2006 04:46 PM (GMT)
Thanks, Maya. I can't wait to read your work, too.




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