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Young Writers Club > Poetry & Song Writing > And I Die



Title: And I Die
Description: FEEDBACK PLEASE


gossipgirl - June 8, 2006 06:35 AM (GMT)
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And I
And die

It sounds the same
And I die
Waiting for another roll
Of the die

And I
And die

Looking away as you
Peacefully lie
And I die

Grey skies will never look the same again
Tell me as I think again
Keep reliving the pain again
I'll never be the same again

Winter came for my soul
Now its deep, freezing me
But you're not here to melt it
Guess I'll just have to deal with it

Feeling sad
Feeling lost.
Needing comfort
From you.

Couldn't you have held my hand one last time
Please?

lakegurl93 - June 9, 2006 01:43 AM (GMT)
Marie...It's awesome!!! It's very songish. If you added a bit and rearanged some stuff it could be an AMAZING song!!!

Anwen - June 13, 2006 02:41 PM (GMT)
Beautiful! I loved it :)

Craving feedbacks lately Marie?

X

gossipgirl - June 14, 2006 04:22 AM (GMT)
haha, yuss, and thanks guys




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