Title: The end of the Ride
~*Athena*~ - April 28, 2006 12:42 AM (GMT)
Death.
The darkness of the ocean.
The darkness of the night sky.
The emptiness of a black hole.
The emptiness of a prarie opened wide.
A feeling of cold.
It's the end of the ride.
The loss of one's soul.
The loss of love, hapiness and pride.
But death has neither darkness nor light.
Is neither empty nor full.
There is neither cold nor warmth to feel.
So the soul and the hapiness and the love and the pride-
must mean nothing once you've died.
The joke's on you. It's the end of the ride.
Cheesecake - April 28, 2006 03:14 AM (GMT)
It's really, really good. Kind of depressing, but good. I love the rhythm too. :)
gossipgirl - April 28, 2006 07:46 AM (GMT)
GOOD!slightly.cliched.idea.but.awesome.lyrical...value.lol.i.cant.explain.it.any.other.way
Alexandria - May 1, 2006 01:10 AM (GMT)
I really like this. I didn't think it was so depressing. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you intended to use irony by using black holes and the ocean because black holes really aren't empty and the ocean isn't completely dark. I took this as a symbol that maybe there is some hope in death despite being condemned. Maybe I'm just speaking nonsense. Sometimes I think I see things in writing that are not really there. Either way, it's a great poem.
~*Athena*~ - May 1, 2006 08:08 PM (GMT)
oooh, very good! I wasn't really sure if that would catch on. Welcome, by the way. And what a cool name!
gossipgirl - May 2, 2006 06:52 AM (GMT)
ooh,alexandria,way.to.make.me.feel.liek.a.blur.13.year.old...LOL