View Full Version: A Note On the Wall -"This Isn't Going to Work Out"

Young Writers Club > Poetry & Song Writing > A Note On the Wall -"This Isn't Going to Work Out"



Title: A Note On the Wall -"This Isn't Going to Work Out"


Jackson [Break] - April 14, 2006 05:15 AM (GMT)
Crooked power lines trace
This snow-covered district
On a dark night, ice is covering
People concealed in homes
Keep the light – “Could you leave the light on?”

In the streets, here
Six shots – “Don’t save him from the flames”
Liquid running through the veins
Swallowed in the darkness

Out in the night
Where it’s too dark to see but you know it’s still there
“Still there?”
It’s too late they’re already here
Darkness leaves the homes despairingly hopeless
Light found a way in

They found a way in
But I’m already gone
Even if it’s only in my head – “See you on the other side”

Pressing my face against
This car window
Watch – “A light in the dark”
Fire all around
Leading through the home

Yeah, tell me again
“And there’s a light on”
It can handle it

20 years later
But I’m already gone
Light’s been found
A note on the wall – “This isn’t going to work out”

~*Athena*~ - April 15, 2006 01:57 AM (GMT)
I really like the style of this poem. Even if I didn't understand every single thing, I really like it. I'll have to reread it a few times.

gossipgirl - April 15, 2006 03:20 AM (GMT)
your stuff is absolutely gorgeous jackson. "crooked power lines trace" i love that line!

lakegurl93 - April 15, 2006 10:26 PM (GMT)
Love it.

September - April 20, 2006 12:39 AM (GMT)
I loved the unique style




Hosted for free by InvisionFree