Embarrassing Medical Exams
>
>
> 1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have
> her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted
> the
> lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed
> that there were several cabs ---and I was in the wrong one.
>
> Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio , TX .
>
> 2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an
> elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big
> breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.
>
> Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA
>
> 3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a
> wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more
> than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family
> that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
>
> Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
>
> 4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with
> his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble
> with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch, the nurse
> told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of
> places
> to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I
> wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the
> instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
>
> Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA
>
> 5.. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I
> asked, "How long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete
> confusion she answered..."Why, not for about twenty years - when my
> husband was alive."
>
> Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis , OR
>
> 6. I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your
> breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I
> can't
> seem to get used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to see
> the
> jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."
>
> Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI
>
> 7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young
> woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a
> variety
> of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly
> determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled
> for
> immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating
> table,
> the
> staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there
> was
> a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed,
> the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said,
> "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
>
> Submitted by RN no name
>
> AND FINALLY!!!................
>
> 8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB , I was quite
> embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my
> embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The
> middle-aged
> lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing
> and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said,
> "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you
> were whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener".
>
> Dr. Wouldn't submit his name