For the second time
My hands crept across his skin gently. With my eyes tightly shut I built a mental dam, banishing the tears, holding them back. I sensed my way across his downy flanks, and my fingertips traced circles into his side, comforting the tensed creature. From his pronounced croup, my palms slipped down the gently sloped, supple back. My nails pressed into skin, parting hair as my hands lifted to settle upon his withers. I could feel his wiry tendrils of mane lipping at my hands as they clutched desperately at him. The breeze stirred the grasses beneath us, and the wind raced into our ears, creating a raucous that faded to silence, where only we could be heard, seen, and touched. My eyelids gingerly pried themselves open, to reveal deep eyes, stormy and troubled. Before me, stood a magnificent creature; of pride, nobility and power. His neck, beautifully arched showed him to be an animal of distinction. The half light cast wonderful shadows across his compelling stature. The light sank into his skin, rolling in and out of muscled hollows. The inky blank definition gave him a bold outline. His coat was an impressive shade of ebony, a pleasant coerce between burnished copper and charcoal. Black, tall, proud and strong, he was a fine beast. I stepped right twice, and my body followed my shoulders as I twisted to admire him head on. I cupped his broad cheeks, letting my fingers fall and rise with every fluctuation of flesh and bone in his handsome face. From the pinkness of his flared nostrils, I felt compelled to look at him. Within the sunken hollows below his brow, I caught a flash of movement as he eyed me cautiously. Burgundy irises stared at me sheepishly, and then they rolled, and I saw white. Our eyes had met. For the second time.
The first time, the second. No, only the first. “Be still, Red”, I choke, I whisper, I cry. I look on fearfully, watching her nostrils pump ferociously in the mist. She does not inhale with each breath, she screams. She screams her pain, her confusion, and her terror, until her silky voice is but a poisoned rasp. Her teeth glint a vermillion hue in the dawn light as she bites at the air, desperate. She’s not ready to stop. My eyes, so blue and pure, ease themselves over her torn features. Her delicate ears are tatters and shreds, pinned back against her skull in fear. Spider web veins of enraged crimson trace symmetry across her red skin from gaping holes in her nape. She bleeds red. She rumbles an explosive cough, and I feel my face wet. I wipe my face clear of the liquid and tremble. Sneaking down my bony fingers, I see rivulets of blood. I hold her great head tight to my chest, to feel the fading warmth of her skin disappear altogether. But she is still close. She is still here, with me. I cry sorrow into her tresses of copper as I lower her magnificent head from my bosom. Her nostrils are still, and her lips and teeth are motionless, but her eyes rage. White. I see only white as her eyes roll back into her head. Her white eyes are bloodshot as they fly around, determined to be free. White. For the first time. The first time. The last time. Be still, Red.
I gasped. He waited patiently for me to recover. His eyes were free of white. A deep soothing brown that calmed me in an instant. I knew he is not my Red. He was not my first… not my first. She was the first, the most painful, the deepest grief, the darkest loss. He was my lifeline, my new shoulder. My way ahead. Her loss was so final, but with Black, I will relive the joy and the trust. He was my new friend. The shadow of a memory passed. He was the second.
ooc. My English narrative on a memory trigger and how it triggers a...memory :] You think...? The emotions have to do with my dog, Tres Beau, dying ;_; He went to jump the fence and hung himself. I got home first and found him. And then the next day we got a new puppy, a choc lab, Doug. It was so close to feeling like we replaced him. Anyway, thoughts?
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