All I Need... Of All The Ironies... (Hopeless Hearts)

Title: All I Need... Of All The Ironies...
Description: Vladimir Dracula x Eagle-Desire

sassaboo - February 1, 2008 03:00 AM (GMT)

I´m dying to catch my breath
Oh why don´t I ever learn?
I´ve lost all my trust,
though I´ve surely tried to turn it around

Can you still see the heart of me?
All my agony fades away
when you hold me in your embrace

Don´t tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe
Don´t tear me down
You´ve opened the door now, don´t let it close

I stormed through the foaling fields, leaving the Exotic Mountains in anger towards Vladimir. My teeth were gritted together, my tassle lashing about as my contractions became closer. It was annoying, having to stop and go on the way here. Why the bloody hell is there only one foaling field? Why not a specific one in each land? It'd make it a hell of a lot less stressful than it already was, probably a lot safer too for each herdlands. It's a risk to travel with a newborn back to the herdlands, some of them were a good distance from the fields. I shut my eyes tight for a moment, the pain growing worse with each step, salty tears staining my cheeks. My thoughts were still on Vladimir, his anger, my anger, our worries, and the snappiness towards each other. To some, it was hardly an arguement, to me, it was the first 'fight' we had...

I´m here on the edge again
I wish I could let it go
I know that I´m only one step away
from turning it around

Can you still see the heart of me?
All my agony fades away
when you hold me in your embrace

Don´t tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Give me something I can believe

Don´t tear it down, what´s left of me
Make my heart a better place

Walking until my knees buckled, I stood over a large fresh area of grass before collapsing onto the vegetation. I was grateful for spring, otherwise the grass would be dead right now. Instincts made me start pushing, pain made me dig at the grass, and curiousity made me wonder if Vlad was going to show up or not. What the hell!? Why was this so painful? Why in the world do some mares love having foals after this torture!? The ground by my hooves looked as though a shovel had been taken to them as I cried out. The foal was not going to wait for Vladimir to show up, so there was no way I'd be able to. I tried looking over my shoulder to see my progess, it was no good. All I could guess was that the foal was around halfway through, and I was almost done... But my energy was weak, my breathing heavy and everything around me seemed to start blurring. "Vlad..." I nickered softly, my eyes shut tight as I kept pushing.

I tried many times but nothing was real
Make it fade away, don´t break me down
I want to believe that this is for real
Save me from my fear
Don´t tear me down

Don´t tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place
Don´t tear me down for all I need
Make my heart a better place

Give me something I can believe
Don´t tear it down, what´s left of me
Make my heart a better place

((Prettyful lyrics from 'All I Need' by Within Temptation))

Spirit Dancer - February 7, 2008 11:48 PM (GMT)

I told myself I won't miss you
But I remember
(Oh)
What it feels like beside you

I really miss your hair in my face and the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

The bed I'm laying in is getting colder
Wish you never would have said it's over
And I can't pretend I won't think about you when I'm older
'Cause we never really had our closure.
This can't be the end
End.
- Better Than Me by Hinder

I was already irritated with her, more with myself than anything; but that didn't hinder my constant watch over my pitiful herd. And, it didn't take me much time to notice Desire's absense from the ehrd - only because she was part of my main focus to constantly watch my herd. Disregarding our arguement, I followed her without much difficultly, though did my best to stay hidden in case she wanted to be alone.

Even if she did, I wasn't going to leave. My father hadn't been there for my birth, nor my brother's; this wsa one of the few, significant things I could do to pave the road to fatherhood that I wanted. I was still unsure about how I would be as a father, but I had a small inkling I'd be completely different from my father, despite the famous saying "Like Father, Like Son".

Coal chasms watched her pain from the shadows, relfecting her pain and my own in them as I watched her helplessly - knowing nothing I could do would help, and knowing I could do nothing to ease her own suffering. Auddas pivoted backwards as she cried out; muscles tightening underneath my blood red cavas, threatening to spring my massive frame forward as my heart wretched from her cry. Only when I heard her nicker, almost too soft for even my acute hearing to catch, did I emerge from the shadows I was so adept to. Slinking my way forward, doing my best not to disturb the silence of the Feild itself, my charred maw lowered itself to touch her cheek.
"I'm here, Desire."

sassaboo - February 8, 2008 12:30 AM (GMT)

I hardly felt his touch against the pain, but his voice was undeniable. I was happy he followed me, but I hated the fact that this was how he had to see me right now. I wanted this child out of me already! My ears pinned back as I gave a final push, blurred vision looking back to the large foal behind me. Relief overcame me for a while as I rolled onto my stomach to begin cleaning our child. As I started to clean him, his coat was a dark blue-grey, more than likely to fade and roan as he grows older. With a smile, I familierized(sp?) myself with his scent, his appearance, everything about him I could. Looking back up to Vladimir, I smiled weakly. "Meet your son..."

I had hardly finished the words before another sudden pain overwhelmed me. What's going on? My son is born, I shouldn't be having pain still! But there was no denying it, and I ended up rolling back onto my side. I pushed, and pushed, barely noticing my son's twin being born. My breathing was shallow, and my vision was starting to fail me... Just as the frail filly was born, I blacked out....

Everything was calm...I was numb to the world...I loved the feeling...I loved the idea of letting go...Love...I wanted to let go...To just hold my breath, and be free from any boundries the world had given me...But at the same time, I didn't...I wanted to stay...For my family...For my son, my daughter, my love...

For exactly how long I was unconcious, I couldn't tell you. I just, woke up. Not that it made me feel any better, I felt like I had been dropped from a cliff onto rocks down below. My strength was gone, all my will put into awaking, to live. From laying on the ground, I searched for Vladimir, my eyesight finally more clear. I strained all my energy into rolling back over, becoming dizzy as I did so. But I had to clean my second child too, so tiny compared to her brother. "And your daughter..." I whispered, praying the thin filly would at least stir...

It's cold! So cold! And it feels weird, why does it feel so weird! And bright! Well, if a filly could talk right after being born, I'm sure that's what she would have said. But the young filly layed upon the ground, her breathing just barely noticable. Laying next to her brother, it was a surprise that she had not been born as a stillborn. Finally, her blackened orbs opened, looking at the crowd that was around her. She yawned widely, yet to realize she was more different than her twin than she realized. Her coat was a tannish color, destined to dapple into a beautiful buckskin with her darkened legs, mane, and tail. Somehow she had a will to live, and she started to move, well...Try and move, if only she could figure out her dang legs.

Spirit Dancer - February 8, 2008 10:30 PM (GMT)

Coal chasms closed as I'd touched her; doing my best to respect her privacy and my own modesty. Only when she spoke, did my eyes reopen. Hearing that the blue-grey foal that was sprawl behind her was my son, I couldn't help but feel proud. He was handsome, no doubt; he was big, with black points and a dark grey - almost black - mane and tail with a snowy white face, of which the same blue-grey outlined his coal hues like a mask's eye holes would. He blearly looks around as Desire cleans him and becomes familiarized with his scent, before giving me a strange look, which was (no doubt) from the foolish grin that was probably wrapped onto my features.

For a moment, anyways, before coal chasms identified the pain that overtook Desire's weak happiness. Auddas pivoted backwards once more, as I watched her with concern - every now and again glancing towards our son as he attempted to stand by now - worry etched into my scarred features that probably made me look too old for my true age. My attention turns itself towards the filly as Desire blacks out, taking it upon myself to clean the filly and, since she remained unmoved, I would try to get her moving atleast.

I grunted soemthing inaudable as Desire came to, my main concern at the moment was for our daughter, since our son hadn't had any mishaps during his birth. Only when the filly started to move, did I back away, so that Desire could familiarize herself with the filly. I watched the two patiently, only once did my attention skirt away, only because my blue-grey son had managed to wobble his way forward a few steps to touch my charred knee and stare up at me in bewilderment, as if he as amazed at my height.

sassaboo - February 9, 2008 06:20 AM (GMT)

It was eerie how quite Vlad was at the moment, disturbing really. He muttered something, but I couldn't understand him. Watching our son try and rise to his feet, I knew I had to stand as well. I, too, felt like a newborn foal as I stood up on shaky legs. I had to keep my knees locked in order to stand without shaking, looking back to the twins to check on their progress. I was happier now that the pain was gone, but tired as ever. What I wouldn't give for a nap right now...

Watching her brother start to move around and manage to stand, the young filly tried to copy him. It was obvious she was growing frustrated as she kept falling, but she looked up at the group around her. No, she wanted to be like them! She wasn't giving up! With a stomp of her small hoof, she gave one last attempt to stand, succeeding at last. A big smile was on her face as she looked up at her parents, waiting for approval that she had managed to stand up like her brother.

I chuckled as I watched the two, seeing our son stare at Vlad while our daughter found pride in being able to stand. "She scared me for a while...But she doesn't give up." I smiled to Vlad, before giving a weary sigh. "Both beautiful, alive and healthy. And nameless, what shall we name them?" I asked, looking up to Vladimir in hopes of getting him to say something.

Spirit Dancer - February 18, 2008 03:31 AM (GMT)

I grinned weakly, as my coal chasms skirted away from our son to look at Desire - though on audda remained in his direction as he forged his own path towards his twin.
"A fighter never gives up," I replied, my gaze turning to our daughter as she now stood, as if conveying my approval to her as I spoke with her mother. "She'll get stronger."

I paused, as black rimmed audda pivoted backwards as she mentioned how both were nameless. I frowned in acknowledgement; we hadn't focused much on names, I guess. I'd stringed together a few names - but none fit them. We were too busy worrying whether if they would carry my "disease". My gaze returned to my son, as my brain shuffles through the years of the names of my bloodline that I'd learned, meanings and words in my native tongue that could even match up to atleast one of them.
"Liviu Cosmin," I replied, my voice husky from the Romanian language, before I chuckled at my own pun as I turned to Desire. "It means 'Bluish Beauty'."

sassaboo - February 18, 2008 03:44 AM (GMT)

The newborn filly gave her father a strange look while he laughed, looking back to her newly named brother. All she could think was that it sounded a bit like a girl's name... Growing a bit impatient, she waited for her own name by practicing walking around.

I smirked as Vlad came up with a name for our son, a little unsure about the name at first. But the more I thought about it, the more his name seemed to fit him. Giving a nod, I looked back towards the pair. "Liviu Cosmin it is...What about the heart of a wolf right here? She's certainly admirable." I sighed as I looked back up towards the king. I wanted her to have a Romanian name as well, only problem was...I didn't know any.

((I figured it'd be the only way for him to get Mirela Daciana, 'To admire' 'wolf' xD))

Spirit Dancer - February 20, 2008 10:38 PM (GMT)

I laughed increduously when my son's small diadem jerked away at the announcement of his name; apparently, he could detect the femininity of it...But it fit him. Nothing else could - and, atleast we could always dub him "Cosmo" and he'd probably be saved the embarassment of meeting another Romanian-tongued equid being born here. The only other Romanian speaking equine that I could name that existed here was his uncle Edward, who was probably fiddling around in the Neutral lands.

My coal gaze turns to his sister, obviously irritated due to her lack of name, as her brother attempts to overtake her speed by trying to trot. I grinned foolishly as I watched my first and only children, as I pondered on our daughter's name, before announcing abruptly, "What about Mirela Daciana? It means 'To admire' and 'Wolf'."

sassaboo - February 22, 2008 01:28 AM (GMT)

I chuckled as my very words had been taken literally into her name, but I did like it. By now, Mirela had started nursing already, only after she had her fill did she pull away and give a nod to her name to show approval. "Mirela Daciana and Liviu Cosmin...I like them."

With a small yawn, I looked down at our children. We'd have to get them home soon, hopefully before nightfall came...

((Eh, sorry for shortness...Should we just take them to the mountains?))

Spirit Dancer - February 23, 2008 05:38 AM (GMT)

[x] Sure. <3 [/x]

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