I've been reading everyone's semi-writing-related posts, so I thought I'd put this up...

~)~

I like the idea of describing things to people as if they're blind, but I've always been told "show, don't tell".

Opinions?

How do you 'show' with words? Are you looking for lots of adjectives? Please explain because I am thinking way too much. :)

Cat

Actually, I have no bloody clue what that means.

Oh, OK. That sounds like an interesting discussion. :) Hmm...let me ponder this and get back to you.

Cat

If that means that the person reading is able to picture the scene in their minds... Touch it, feel it, smell it, kind of 'be there' then that's gold. I'm still learning when it comes to writing (since I only took a creative writing course in grade eleven and never did what I was told), so I look at writing for twenty minutes everyday and if something hits me go from there... If not, it ends up in the Exercise File (maybe never to be seen again, or pulled out because I'm working on something)...
When I was writing Forever Knight, I really tired to get the reader into the story, feel as though he/she was the character, never posted any of it (I was like 16 or something)... I'd describe the decor, the way the light would illuminate the room, you know? Sounds cheesy, but I think it helped me...
I digress, yet again... :D But that's my take on showing (that's shy of telling though... sorry, my bad)...

I don't think there's any way you can really 'show and not tell' with describing what something looks like - if no one had ever seen CM and they read a fic about Morgan you could show them all sorts of things about his character - but eventually you're going to have to tell them that "He was a tall black man" else how else would they know (short of characters talking about his looks all the time).

Show and tell always applied to characters more than description for me - I think the theory is that you need to get the reader involved instead of handing it to them on a plate.

In other words if a character has a bad relationship with his father but adores his mother you don't say; "So and so grew up with a mother who pandered to his every whim and a father who made it clear that everything so and so did was wrong." If it's not too important to the plot it would be better for a character to bring it up.

e.g "Nah, my dad never took me to Football games, we didn't get on so great." So and so shrugged to show that it was no matter, he didn't care, then smiled briefly in memory. "My mom did - she never understood a thing about football but she bought tickets for me as often as she could and when she took me she cheered so hard I felt embarassed about being with her."

If you looks at the two exmples - doesn't the second one show a lot more and get you more interested than simply being told that the facts of the characters upbringing? If it was really important to the plot you could take it even further - show the Sunday family dinner, the dad making snide comments, the mother pampering him and filling his plate with far too much food.

So in that sense show don't tell works, but in the end you have to describe something.

I don't know...Maybe SDT is over-rated.

I just brought that up because I always heard it in my AP English class.

Personally, I like the description idea that was brought up earlier, in the other topic.

Show don't tell, is like describing it in detail.. For instanse..

"she went to the door and knocked" - That would be considered showing


"she slowly went to the door, walking like a cripppled grandma. As she approached the dark, scary place, she knocked on the door slowly."

Idk, something like that.. I don't write good stories, so that example probably sucks, but you get what i'm trying to say. :)

I think that is a decent example, but that's how all stories should be written. Who wants to read "See Jane walk."? :)

Cat

I would like to. :) lol

Would you rather read, "See Jane walk." or "Jane walked into the bar, one foot at a time, careful to extend her long, smooth legs to catch the eye of every man in the room." ?

:P :D :lol:

Cat

I guess to return to the show and tell aspect... I don't know about the tell... I think sometimes it adds the right amount of mystery. And in terms of characters I like to give a little here and a little there... When writing DLM... The first ever story I did, I did a lot of physical character description... I wanted the audience to 'see' George and Rube... Later on, I just gave a hint here or there of little things... Just enough to remind you if you forgotten what they looked liked, or a gesture often used. That's I guess what I mean by tell... (why I deconstruct both concepts)

OK, that makes sense. I write original fiction as well, so when writing fanfic I tend to use the same type of stuff, like describing the physical characteristics of each character the first time they walk into the storyline, but only if they are going to be important later on down the line. Otherwise, I just use generalities. You are saying that for fanfic, the best plan is to use generalities for all the 'known' characters and only describe the new ones? I think that is a really good idea and can save my keyboard a little since I type close to 70 words a minute and love to describe everything. My thesaurus and I are good friends. :)

Cat

I'm not as good a friend with my thesaurus... The words just seem to come from somewhere... I think it's to do with the essay writing in school (I never liked using the same word too close together... It always looked messy to me [still does]... So back in high school, we were great friends, but I think as my vocab expands, words just are easier... And 70wpm sounds about right for me as well, which is why I guess I don't use it as often...

This bit goes with the learning thing: The thing I’m still gunning for is emotion... I want to write that piece that pulls you right in and makes you feel the pain, the anger...(sort of like when Gideon tries to explain something by asking, how does one collect emotion? [me thinks me shall keep this in mind as I write my next CM piece]) that's my goal (and will probably take many years, and much more heartache to achieve, but I will get there... I hope ;))

Ergh, I need help! (lol, that seems to be my used pghrase!)
Anyway, I've started writing a new fic, and I want to describe her apartment, but I dont want it to get 'listy' if that makes any sense. Like, I dont want half a page on describing so people will get bored.
I know its very vague, but I cant think of how else to describe it.
Thank you for nay help!

~xJemmax~

In this case I think it helps to read others pieces because right at this very moment I don't really know how to explain how to do it... I just kind of let it pour out of me so to speak. In some cases, less is more... In other cases you need that description to guide the reader. How much/little is a personal choice... Again, if its just kinda there, it sometimes can make it look like a Dickens’s novel (paid by the word) ;) Or like your writing an essay that has to be X# of words...

Wish I could pull out an actual example... I had a story from many moons ago that would help... If you'd like (providing I can find it), I can PM you a copy... Just let me know (It was essentially the description of a characters flat).