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| By Leslie Gray Streeter Palm Beach Post Staff Writer Tuesday, January 16, 2007 Dear 2007 American Idol contestants: The future is in your hands. No, not the rain forest or world peace or anything of cosmic importance — I speak of the future of the sixth season of American Idol. As the Palm Beach Post's professional Idol watcher, I've got a standing Tuesday and Wednesday night date with Paula, Simon, Randy and the ever-annoying Ryan Seacrest for the next five months, even on weeks that this prospect gives me the shakes and the spooky dreams. Sadly, neither you or I can stop Simon from being cruel just to crack himself up, Randy from giving shout-outs to the freshest slang 1995 has to offer, or stop Paula from starring in her weekly one-woman show Help! I'm Blathering On Like a Ninny And I Can't Shut Up! But you, Young Singerlings, can exercise your one power — to never, ever sing the following 10 songs. They're not necessarily bad songs (with the exception of that sweet, stirring tribute to being a mistress), just ones that have outlived their usefulness as American Idol selections. Help me out here. And good luck! |
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| 1. Falling, Alicia Keys Why it should be retired: It's a fairly boring song, musically. And if you're not an extremely controlled singer, it's a one-way trip to Caterwaul City. What should replace it: If I Ain't Got You, Alicia Keys — Like Falling, it's simple and heartfelt, but prettier. 2. You Are So Beautiful, Joe Cocker Why it should be retired: Taylor "Joe Cocker Jr." Hicks owns it. Not you. What should replace it: When The Night Comes, Joe Cocker. Another blue-eyed soul tune from the Growly One, it's got the same over-emotive, sincere begging vibe, but in a less clichéd and fresher-sounding package. 3. I Have Nothing and I Will Always Love You, Whitney Houston Why they should be retired: Because you are not Whitney Houston. Heck, Whitney Houston isn't Whitney Houston anymore. These are her signatures, from the height of her once-storied vocal powers, and you just can't do them without evoking that glorious memory. So don't try. What should replace them: I Believe In You and Me, Whitney Houston. This single from the soundtrack of The Preacher's Wife will complement a strong singer by demonstrating a truth that screechy girls can't grasp — that it's harder to sing and hold a note straight and controlled than to scream yourself into oblivion. |
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| 4. Anything from the Dreamgirls soundtrack Why it should be retired: Because it's the hottest thing smoking right now, and it'll be tempting to jump on the bandwagon. Stay away from the wagon. What should replace it: Home from The Wiz. Looking for a soaring Broadway soul belter with standing ovation potential? Look no further than this ode to finding a happy home anywhere there's love. Especially if the singers can avoid either blatantly copying Stephanie Mills' original or Beyonce-ing it up. |
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| 5. Saving All My Love For You, Whitney Houston Why it should be retired: Because it's a boringly constructed song about having a pathetic affair with a married guy who's obviously never leaving his wife. Every contestant who's ever done it seems to just be singing a collection of pretty notes, completely oblivious to what she's singing about. And when the singers are teenage girls? Ewww. What should replace it: All The Man I Need, Whitney Houston. A lesser-known but beautiful part of Whitney's canon, it starts sad and sensitively in lush minor keys and then melodramatically sweeps up to big life-affirming heights. And, presumably, it's about getting your own man, not somebody else's. |
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| 6. Unchained Melody, Righteous Brothers Why it should be retired: It's Simon Cowell's favorite song, and the chip is on his shoulder the minute the kid starts singing. Also, it can get boring. What should replace it: You Really Got A Hold On Me, The Miracles. Similar in simplicity, but it's a golden oldie with an edge, about craving someone who's wrong for you. We've all been there... right, Paula? |
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| 7. The Queen catalogue Why it should be retired: Last season, the righteous operatic rockers appeared as guest geezers of the week, with all the contestants singing their stuff, so it's been done. Also, the songs are mini-operas with multiple chapters that often get edited down for time reasons, stunting their natural drama. What should replace it: The Styx catalogue. Take Queen's melodrama and give it a shot of Jack Daniels, and you're close to capturing the appeal of Styx classics like Fooling Yourself (The Angry Young Man) or Renegade, which Chris Daughtry did last year. And I have it on the personal authority of Styx's James "JY" Young that the band would love to lend you one of its tunes. 8. Alone, Heart Why it should be retired: The ladies have been plundering the coffers of the Sisters Wilson for the last couple of years quite well. But why not spread the love to some of the other rocker mamas? What should replace it: Shadows of The Night, Pat Benatar. You want big, big '80s rocker explosions, with high notes that let you show your upper range and, frankly, show off with your bad self? You're looking at a winner. Extra points if you dress up like a World War II flying ace like Pat did in the video. |
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| 9. Father Figure, George Michael Why it should be retired: Last year, Ace "Neo-Constantine" Young tried and failed to capture the previous year's spellbinding, scary-sexy treatment Constantine Maroulis gave this song. So cut your losses and don't do it again. What should replace it: Sweet Child O' Mine, Guns N' Roses. On the surface, the blue-eyed pop soul of George Michael and the '80s love metal of G'N R seem to go together like Ryan Seacrest and a natural tan. But both are well-aged favorites with long phrases that make the singer show off their breath control. Have you been working on your Axl snaky dance? Musical gold, my friend. |
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| 10. I Don't Wanna Be, Gavin DeGraw Why it should be retired: Two years ago, Bo Bice did a bang-up job of this then-current anthem of self-expression. Last year, my beloved Elliott Yamin did it again. Done a third time, the audience might express themselves by falling asleep. What should replace it: Mr. Brightside, The Killers. Sure, it's about romantic obsession and delusion, and unlike I Don't Wanna Be, a poor choice for that uplifting valedictorian speech. But it's a fantastic melodic rock song that Rock Star: INXS' Marty Casey stripped down to perfection. It could add an edge for that special Idol |
| QUOTE (AceOfHearts @ Jan 16 2007, 06:52 PM) |
| I hope this year's Idol hopefuls pick some different songs. There are a million of 'em out there, yet they always seem to pick the same ones. Does anyone dare to be different this season? And I still don't see any resemblance between Ace and Constantine. |